Struggling between Mainstream or special class - advice please

[Minniemooose]

Hi

I’ll try to make this as brief as possible-

DS 11 due to start secondary in September.

Has an EHCP so gets 1:1 a lot of time

Diagnoses of ADHD, Dyslexia and Dyspraxia. Can barely read or write and is significantly below peers academically. Working year 2 level. He’s struggles with maths too and likely has Dyscalculia.

No behavioural issues at school, very quiet and well behaved. Wouldn’t ask for help, would just sit quiet do nothing.

Secondary school offers

• Mainstream

•Mainstream with learning support (kids here won’t do a language and will go out of class for extra maths, English etc)

• “The Send Group” for kids with more significant needs, where there about 15 kids and more teaching assistants. They will have all lessons together though they will have tutor group within the mainstream.

It’s generally based on academic ability so DS will be allocated a place however, here is my concern….

Socially and Emotionally, DS is ok. He’s immature but socially aware and acts accordingly- for example if I tried to hold his hand over the road he would push me off as he’d be embarrassed. He’d be mortified to be embarrassed in front of his peers. He loves one soft toy from when he was a baby but he would be mortified if any of his friends knew.

He has a group of best friends and they all look out for him and help him and it’s so lovely. They go to a club together and they help him with his money etc..

Within the Send Group, there will be children that are socially and emotionally a lot younger. One of the kids in DS current class has a sister in the Send Group and we bumped in to them a few months back in a restaurant. The sister would be 3 years older than my DS and she was sitting on the floor holding a teddy bear. I know she has autism. My son asked why she was sitting on the floor with the bear etc and I explained that everyone is different and that made her happy at them time.

The Send Group is more isolated and their friendships would be made within the class, but my concern is that he won’t make friends as socially and emotionally he manages a lot better than he does academically. It’s perfect academically but his friendships are really important and bring him on so if they are lost then and I think he’ll really struggle.

Do I put him in mainstream and he’ll be in the bottom sets and struggle so much with the work but will be able to form friendships easier or the Send Group where he’ll be able to get the academic support, but he likely won’t make friendships.

It’s so hard…..

Have you spoken to the school about your concerns and about the cohort that will be in the SEN group in DS’s year? Does the SEN group run all the way up the school or is it only for Y7 or Y7&8, or KS3? My concern would be if DS is in mainstream classes and struggles in the bottom set that could negatively affect social interactions as DS gets further up the school, especially if the gap widens. Would the school be open to DS being in the SEN group but joining MS for some of the less academic subjects? Can he still participate in extra curricular activities the mainstream classes can?

Thanks for replying. I have expressed my concerns to the school and said a hybrid would work best so he gets the benefit of both. What you suggest would be perfect and I have put that to them but they said it ends up where the timetable clashes. The send group is available right through until they leave.

I understand what you mean about the gap widening as they get older. They get split in to ability groups for maths early on in year 7 so he would be in the bottom set in mainstream and I’m led to believe they don’t do much work in the bottom set as many of the children struggle (although to a much lesser degree than DS)

I have an older child at the same school and they think that the send group wouldn’t be right for DS and keeps saying I should leave him in mainstream and that lots of kids struggle and don’t do much work - apparently it’s not cool to do work! 🙄 So from that respect he’d fit right in!

DS may not be able to join every non-academic mainstream lesson, but surely he can do it where the timetable does allow? I think that is what I would be pushing to start with. Over time DS may then join more mainstream classes or may stay in the SEN group more.

If DS starts in MS can he join the SEN group later if he needs to? Thinking ahead to GCSE years, DS may find mainstream GCSE classes frustrating if he can’t access that level of academic work.

Thanks so much for your input. That was my initial gut to push for mainstream with learning support (so will be given extra English and maths and won’t have to do a language) as if he struggled too much, it would be easier to transition to the send group than it would be the other way around. At least I’d know we tried mainstream.

My understanding is that a lot of children in mainstream go out for learning support to varying degrees, so from that respect he won’t stand out.

I guess because he struggles academically so much, I’m placing a lot of emphasis on his social skills as you have to be able to get on with people. I’m worried that a class of only 14 other children won’t give him the opportunity to create a social circle.

It’s so hard!

What is his overall understanding of the world like? Is he year 2 level for only English and maths, or is it across the board? As an example, would he be able to identify 3 items in your house that are plastic? If shown a picture from 500 years ago, would he know why it couldn't be a photograph? Can he tell you his address, city and country he lives in? These are more like Year 1 skills but are indicative of a general understanding of the world. If any of them are a no, I would seriously worry about him in mainstream, supported or otherwise. But if he's got a bit of understanding, he could grasp some lessons.

Another way of thinking about it is: can he tell you what he's studying in history at the moment? Science? Computing? RE? Can he tell you a little about that topic? If so, he's learning in these subjects. Another good sign.

I teach a group similar to the SEND group you're describing. I have two children who could fit your description. One will muddle through in high school with support. The other is off to special school and will thrive there, whereas mainstream would have been a nightmare for him.

Do find out what his teacher/SENCO think too, as they might have helpful insight, but may not share it unless you ask.

Thank you so much for this reply, it’s very helpful. One of the frustrating things is the inconsistency of his understanding. Sometimes he will come out with things randomly and I’m taken aback because I wouldn’t necessarily expect him to know that, but then if I asked him what 3 things are plastic I couldn’t say for certain he would get it right. He might one day and the next he’d say ‘I don’t know’. I’m going to try that example in the morning!

Here are a couple of examples -

-The other day he said ‘Do you like animatronics?’ (I didn’t even know what it meant or what it was 😳)

-One boy in class was going to get expelled or excluded for bad behaviour. “That might have been a bit too far” DS said about what the boy done. He knew one was permanent and the meant it was a few days only. I was surprised he knew the terminology and the difference

-The other day he said “Why are you so protective over us, I’ve literally hardly had any’ (sweets that I took off him before he ate the full bag) then he said ‘I’m sorry I said that’s your protective, I know you’re just looking after me’

-I bought him something that his friends have and he said “We’ve all purchased one now”

-Why are you so curious about everything?’ He said to me the other day 🤣

-We were playing a game where you pick up a card with a picture on and you have to find the matching item on the board - told me we need to find sushi and pretzels. Now we don’t eat sushi or pretzels but he knew by looking at the picture that’s what they were.

-He recently asked to play a popular computer game online so his sister showed him what to do and he’d only been playing a couple of weeks and he won the game out of 100 other people playing the same game online. He picks computer games up fast and can play then far better than me. Despite not being able to read, he can work out what he needs to do to succeed because he enjoys it.

-The teacher told me they had a pe specialist in school a while ago and she wonders if DS would struggle with following instructions because they were quite complicated at times and she wondered if a few of the kids would struggle- but she said DS was absolutely fine. She wasn’t sure if he was understanding what was being asked or whether he was copying the other kids but he completed it well.

-He said “Was it half of 1% or was it a quarter of 1% as a quarter is less that half”.
but if I asked him what 25 + 8 he would struggle but would get it eventually

Last one -
They were learning about hurricanes etc… and he said I know what a Tsunami is…. I said tell me what a tsunami is then and I got a detailed answer ‘A big wave that comes out of the sea that goes around the whole city and absolutely nothing can survive it’ but the next day if I asked what he’d been learning he was say ‘I don’t know’…

Sorry I know there’s a lot of examples there it’s just to give you a ln idea of what you make of that?! 🫣

Ps I write things down so I can remember and make myself feel better knowing what he can do

Bump - just wondering if anyone else can also kindly offer advice please x

Based on the example you have made, I would go for mainstream with extra support. Give it a go, you can always change it if it doesn't work and go for the Send class. The opposite, starting in Send and then trying to move to a mainstream class would be a lot harder because the gap would have widened by then.