Dd (18) wearing ear deffenders all the time.

[Lovemusic82]

I know I’m probably going to get told to let her be but….

Dd was diagnosed as autistic at the age of 2, being sensitive to sound has always been a huge issue and trigger for her. We were very lucky to take part in a trial when she was 4/5 for sound therapy through the NHS, it helped a lot and dd went from not being able to cope in the classroom, not being able to eat lunch in the school hall to being able to cope with almost anything without the use of ear defenders. OT advised us not to use defenders or it could reverse her noise sensitivity.

Last year we went to a music festival and I bought dd some ear defenders as I wanted her to enjoy the experience without getting stressed about noise levels, she had a great time but ever since she has refused to take the ear defenders off. She wears them from the moment she wakes up until she goes to bed. She wears them to college (college is too noisy for her and I’m trying to get her moved). I get that they help her but when it comes to me talking to her she can’t hear me. When we go out I have to try and navigate her across roads when she can’t hear me or the traffic clearly (new electric cars are hard enough to hear without have your ears covered). Dd isn’t very verbal but has became less verbal since I can’t really talk to her. Her vocal stimming has got really load because she can’t hear it anymore so she’s constantly humming, singing, laughing loudly. I take her out to quiet places and ask her to take them off as there’s no loud noises but she often refuses and keeps them on. It’s making going out anywhere hard work as I already struggle to control her on my own, without being able to verbally guide her it’s pretty impossible and dangerous.

Has anyone got any tips on how to get her to remove them even if it’s for a hour a day? Should I look into having more sound therapy?

does she ever go out alone?

maybe somewhere by the front door that specifically the place where they are stored so when she walks in… they come off immediately

OT advised us not to use defenders or it could reverse her noise sensitivity.

Last year we went to a music festival and I bought dd some ear defenders

FFS OP

You shouldn’t have bloody booked this for her

this situation is entirely of your own doing and now your poor daughter is going to suffer and need therapy

yes your username is very very apt

Could you get noise cancelling headphones/earphones so she can still hear you talk but they block out background noise?

It may be that once DD is less overwhelmed more generally by an educational setting that better meets her needs she can manage more time without the ear defenders. Although I do think further therapy (sound therapy and SIOT more generally) would help.

🙄 She had been asking to go to a festival for years, she had a great time and it was a small ish festival. She loves music, she plays keyboard and drums. I want her to be able to do these things if she wants to, she’s 18 and likes the same things other 18 year olds like.

she refuses noise cancelling headphones because she can’t handle the fact they have batteries and need charging (she gets stressed if anything gets low on battery power).

She doesn’t go out alone, she goes out with me or her support worker. She been wearing them a lot more since she’s been struggling at college, it’s very noisy there and she can’t handle it so started taking the ear defenders to college, college have agreed that she’s not coping with the noise of other students. I am trying to get her into a quieter placement.

I do think there is some truth to this. I can imagine that if you are wearing ear defenders for long periods of duration, then this can make your ears become more hypersensitive to noise. Similarly like wearing ear defenders do a firework display. I know that when I wear my ear defenders during firework performances( usually an hour), and I then remove this, my hearing becomes muffled and hyper sensitive till my ear canal reaches equal equilibrium.

Would she try something like loops? There’s quite a few folk at my work and my DH who use them - they dampen the sound but you can still hear speech. There’s a few different sound options you can try. This might be a better compromise?

Sadly she won’t tolerate anything that goes in her ear, I have tried and might try again. I worry about the ear defenders squishing her ears/head, they can’t be that comfortable to wear all day.

I'm not sure what sound therapy is but if she likes wearing ear defenders then it feels more like the sound therapy just taught her to mask her struggle with noise rather than erase it?
i think just let her be personally, seems cruel to stop her using them. Maybe come up with something together like you'll tap her shoulder (or whatever she's comfortable with) when you want her attention so she can take them off to hear you

https://mysoundtherapy.com/us/what-is-sound-therapy/children-learning/autism-spectrum-disorder-asd/

Sound therapy doesn’t teach masking techniques, it retrains the ear to cope with different sounds. I’m not sure if it’s something we can do again as I don’t know of any therapists doing it and I’m guessing it would cost a lot of money.

I wish I could get her to use something not as big and bulky and that let a bit more sound in. I will try her again with loop ear buds but I think she’s likely to take them out and throw them away.

I don’t think I can do much about it right now as she is pretty stressed at college which I think has been the main cause for her using them. Maybe when she’s broken up for summer I can persuade her to take them off when we are in quiet places. Obviously I want her to be happy and comfortable but I also want her to be safe when we are out and about (crossing roads etc…). Hopefully she will be starting a new placement in September, one that is much quieter and relaxed.