Dyspraxia and school

[jussycardy]

Hi,
I cant seam to get the teachers at my school to understand.My son is 6 with Dyspraxia.At school his behaviour is fine,but when he gets home after school he errupts like he has been holding it all day.The teachers keep stating that he is ok at school,and his work is satisfactory.
Does anybody else have this problem when they get their children home following school?.
I feel like they dont believe me,then i question my parenting.
Looking for reassurance.
thanks for reading
Justine.

Has your son got a diagnosis of dyspraxia? Speaking as a teacher we can only say what we see in the classroom and while I don't dispute that children can be different in the home it is difficult when you don't actually see this side of things.

children who 'behave well' in school often blow out at home

am confused how a child with diagnosed dyspraxia can fall into this format though .. you can't modify dyspraxia like you can behaviour

what do you mean by he 'erupts at home' what happens?

Agree that the Dyspraxia alone wouldn't lead to eruptions at home or elsewhere. Behavioural problems are sometimes part of Dyspraxia, but it's by no means a given thing which is probably why the school aren't putting the two together. It seems possible that the eruptions at home are nothing to do with the Dyspraxia but are part of other issues.

How do they manage the dyspraxia at school, is it structured for him rather than at home where he has a freer rein . In what way does he erupt ?

Yes,he thrives off and needs routine.Weekends are hard as lots of things are different,to what happens during the week.He has a diagnosis of dyspraxia.He comes home and he is aggitated,frustrated,and everything is wrong.He did SATS last week and his behaviour when he got home was awful.He is'nt naughty its like he is soooo frustrated but does'nt know how to deal with it or channel it.It is so draining.I read that some dyspraxic children have to try extra hard at their work and to fit in with others that when they get home or to a safe place ie,home they just let all the days frustration out??.
What could the other issues at home be that cause the eruptions?.
Thanks all for posting.
Justine
o

Seems like more than frustration associated with dyspraxia, Sats may have been hard on him physically due to that but also look at his bedtime and diet, particularly when he is having to concntrate harder, to help him feel as relaxed as possible. At 6 he won't have such control of his impulses as to be able to behave so well all day, what are breaktimes like for example?

Would suggest you make home as predictable as possible, establish routines so that he knows what to expect and prepare him for variations as much as possible the morning before. It can differ at weekends but a vague structure to his time may help.

My DS2 was very frustrated before his diagnosis and blamed himself for the difficulties he had at school - and his behaviour definately reflected that. Basically he blamed himself for what he saw as his "failings".

What's different with your case is that once we had the diagnosis it was like a weight had been lifted for him - we actually had a bit of paper (the diagnosis) which effectively said "It's not your fault, it's just bad luck". I wonder if your DS understands this? There's a book for kids about Dyspraxia which explains everything really well: here which I really recommend.

Was so excited when I read your message that I had to join mumsnet quickly so that I could reply!

My ds (9) has diagnosis of Developmental Co-Ordination Disorder and Sensory Processing Dysfunction and I have always felt that he behaves significantly differently at school from at home. I totally identify with the idea of 'erupting' and have also felt that his teachers think I'm mad when I talk about his issues - I am sick of hearing 'he's fine when he's at school'.

I believe it is his sensory issue that cause the discrepancy - he is a sensory seeker and feels more free to engage in these behaviours at home than at school. He chews, makes unusual noises, touches, taps and fiddles. I think the stress of not being able to engage in these behaviours at school is what causes the eruptions when he gets home.

If it's any consolation he has fewer outbursts as he gets older.

moody and OP I am envious that your sons CAN stop the constant need for sensory input that is part of dyspraxia. I didn't realise they could. My son is all over the place at school but calm at home because he's not 'constrained' in a chair or a classroom. He's work at school is illegible and suffers from his lack of concentration.

If your ds is fine at school you should be happy. Its the progress at school that is so important. At home you should let them 'blow out', go swimming or whatever they want.

Hi jussycardy,

My dd hasn't got dyspraxia, she has a genetic condition. From what I've heard she does have some similar problems though. Her fine motor skills and balance aren't good. She has to concentrate extra hard to try to co-ordinate her movements, but this doesn't always work. She falls over a lot.

Although she is doing well at school (she's in Reception class), she has days when she is a complete nightmare when we get home, quite often after proudly showing me a sticker that she's been given for being good! She is either crying uncontrollably over something, or being aggressive and having "terrible two's" type tantrums that I thought would have finished long ago as she is now 5. Poor ds (6) just sits there because he knows that if he moves/speaks/does anything that is likely to get dd more wound up that she will get aggressive with him

I think that a lot of it comes from frustration because she just can't keep up with her friends. She also gets tired very easily because of the extra effort it takes for her to do the simplest thing. An adult with the same condition as dd told me that it's like trying to run uphill all of the time. The combination of frustration and exhaustion isn't good. Is it possible that it could be partly this with your ds too?