Weekends and holidays what are they like?

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Hello,

I'm wondering what other SEN families weekends look like and if anyone can offer any advice? I feel very down and fed up of staying in the house!

I have 3 dc, my middle has been diagnosed with dyspraxia, dyslexia, speech disorder and sensory processing disorder and we are on the waiting list for asd assessment. My eldest is very very set in his ways, he thrives in the school structure but falls to pieces during the holidays and I see a lot of nd traits in him.

So weekends - everything is met with tears/ tantrums/ exhaustion trying to do anything spontaneous or anything out of the house! Softplay is too loud, too many people, one ends up spinning in a corner and the other curled up on a chair. Playparks, play areas, woodland areas are the same - too busy but both kids will play if we visit v. Early on a morning or v. Late on the evening (but not very practical) . Beach noone can stand the texture of the sand...

Holidays - we've tried caravans, lodges, centerparcs all out of school holidays and both children prefer to stay in the accommodation either reading (eldest) or watching TV . I end up fighting off questions of when they can go home all week. They have no interest in joining in any activities, shows or events.

Even visiting museums of their current topic of interest is met with constant questions of timings and "go home?"

We actually do okay going to NT sites for some reason. But there's not many in our area (North east) and they're an hour long drive to get there.

Is this just life? Do I need to lower my expectations or try to encourage more exposure? I feel that they're missing out and I'm a bit lost with it all..

I've had to lower expectations for us whenever I do anything too extravagant or spontaneous it goes wrong... Saying that I am occasionally pleasantly surprised. Everything takes so much energy my eldest has been out of school for a bit so i am feeling the strain a little atm.

We have recently had a disabled children's assessment. The social worker said many use the funding during the school breaks.

Our weekends and holidays are very structured. DSs can’t cope otherwise. DS2&3 need a lot of sport/exercise and do clubs on weekends. We split up a lot and DH will do something with 1 or 2 DSs and I will do something else with the other 1 or 2. Sometimes that means 1 of us will stay at home while the other goes out. Like now DH has taken DS2&3 to a sports club and I am at home with DS1.

It is similar with holidays. Sometimes one of us (last couple of years it seems to be DH) will take 2 DSs away while the other one of us stays at home with DS1. If we all of it is somewhere self catering with enough space to escape and then we still seem to split up when there.

I second looking at social care assessment and your local short breaks offer.

We have to keep both apart most of the time they trigger each other and are polar opposites in many ways. So we will often have 1 each at weekends it's easier for us and means they can both do what they like and can cope with. We were reluctant to do this a couple of years ago as they've got older we have realised it's the only way that they can maintain a positive relationship, and going out as a family is just not an option most of the time. Its hard when dh is working, very full on to keep both regulated. Its about finding a balance and what works for all of you, and taking it easy on yourself as well. I often strive for keeping the calm above everything else.

We are the same. DH takes 1 out and I’m home with the other.
it’s hard just keeping the rice and I’ve spent their young childhood years forcing us all to do things with some success but now they’re both older (15 and 13) they’re polar opposites and can trigger each other.
i admit it’s hard mentally to do this.
I am almost always at home with Ds1 and I have carers for 2
hour sun a morning so I force myself to get out in the fresh air and now my ds2 is 13 hea
more interested in having a lie in so I’ve lost the guilt aspect of trying to make the most of the 2 hours and instead get myself out.
summer hols are the worst!

just carve out some time for yourself , it doesn’t have to be long, but it helps to just have 20 minutes where you did something for yourself