This is a bit of a thought salad as I’m quite distressed. Does anyone have any words of support or advice?
I spent too many years listening to our school and my ex husband’s opinions that our son’s autism and dyspraxia weren’t ‘that bad’ as he’s doing well academically in some areas - ahead in reading and maths tho years behind in PE, design, art and computing.
I’ve just applied to the council by myself for EHCP needs assessment. I was (stupidly?) hoping and waiting for progress. But months ahead of secondary transition I still have a child who at ten cannot cross a road, follow more than 2 instructions by himself and needs 15 minutes to pack his things at the end of the school day so presumably will struggle with moving between lessons. He has one close friend and can’t cope socially in unstructured environments like the after school club, which the school just asked me to pull him out of.
When can I expect the EHCP process to complete and what help can I expect from the secondary school during the process, which I presume will be ongoing once he starts in September? What’s the best way to get them on side? I think son will be fine in a mainstream with specified support. Left to try and learn and move around independently he probably won’t be fine.
Post autism diagnosis I started getting more professional reports done in year 5. An NHS paediatrician, OT and private ed psych confirmed dyspraxia and the paediatrician recommended he should have an EHCP. School Senco stuck to her view he wouldn’t get one and still has not confirmed she will support the EHCP application. I imagine they’re running the clock down now.
It’s likely this stretches well into year 7?
I’ve applied for the needs assessment and in our county it’s very likely to be refused and then in 90pc of cases that decision will be reversed at tribunal. Per recent Ofsted report and some legal judgements our council always breach the 20 week rule claiming there is a shortage of ed psychs to assess. First drafts of EHCPs tend to be unfit for purpose and parents commonly appeal them.
Also, any advice for this process when the other parent isn’t on side either?
I’m divorced and we do 50-50 as both work full time.
My ex husband is a good, kind dad but simply doesn’t believe our kid is disabled, even though we get middle rate DLA for him.
He says I’ve exaggerated our son’s issues and that he will be fine and that the professional reports are based on ‘things you told them.’ (He didn’t believe our son would be diagnosed with autism or dyspraxia either. Both were done by NHS.)
But I know this isn’t true because doctors make their own assessments. I wasn’t even there when the OT assessed our son last year (his dad took him) and the EP did cognitive tests also without me there that found extremely low processing and visual spatial IQ. The OT report noted that dad reported no problems in areas where there were definite problems. Atm child is doing equine therapy for SEMH with clinical psychologists and they will prepare a report at the end of the six week course. The system there is also that parents don’t attend so they can observe independently.
So I also need to keep my ex husband as far away from the EHCP process as possible I think? Is that realistic? presumably the EHCP panel will speak to both of us?
This is horribly lonely. I’m the only person advocating for my child and surrounded by people who are gaslighting me. I’m really ashamed of having let them do so for ages and really worried for my child now.