Hi,
My 8 year old daughter has always showed traits of autism from being a baby. Nothing overly severe that would prompt me needing an assessment but I have sought help from the health visitor in the past with her sensory issues/anxieties/behaviours.
Fast forward to the start of her latest academic year (y3) and everything seems to have exploded. All the behaviours have gotten so much worse and her anxiety is crippling her. She has started harming herself by biting her lips, wearing tight bobbles around her wrist that dig in and pinching herself hard. She is awful with clothing and has so many sensory issues around this and also wet food.
She has recently developed compulsions such as checking the time, organising things and having to give a set number of kisses/hugs when saying goodbye and she cries a lot of the day at home but not at school. She can’t give me a reason for her anxieties only that she misses me. She is also having trouble sleeping which is causing headaches.
She has intense empathy for others. She says she doesn’t want friends but feels guilty when she tells others to go away so she goes and plays football cos that’s what everyone else is doing. She doesn’t like it when people are too close she says.
She is masking at school and they say she is a model student as she is very bright. She has told me that she feels the anxieties at school and when they happen she leans back on her chair and puts the chair legs onto her feet and pushes down hard. When I ask her about the self harming she says it doesn’t hurt it’s comfortable 😭 It’s truly breaking my heart.
The school nurse has seen Rosie at school and spoken to her and immediately made a referral to a paediatrician who told the school nurse that the school should put her on the autism assessment pathway as he doesn’t need to see her. School have refused to do this because she is “fine” at school.
Due to this the nurse made a referral to camhs who have contacted me already asking if I’ve contacted school about putting her on the autism assessment pathway. I told them how school were being and they couldn’t believe it. The GP has also received a copy of the school nurses report and advised me she requires an autism assessment.
i have a meeting at school with the senco and headteacher and i intend to demand they put her on the pathway. The school nurse has said she will come with me to the meeting.
can school really do this??? Isn’t it a well know autism trait in girls that they mask their autistic behaviour at school and then “explode at home”. Shouldn’t the senco know this! Has anyone gone through anything similar??
thanks for reading. Xx