am such a shit mum

[bonkerz]

just rang a friend and cried about how im gonna be housebound all week becasue DS is being a nightmare. i feel so low right now after DS behaviour since thursday and i havent left my bedroom yet today. Friends has just been to collect DS for and hour and DD is sat watching beebies eating crisps.
Im tired out and totally ashamed i cant cope with my own son right now.

sweetheart, just take one day at a time for now.

everything seems soooo much worse when you are tired out.

any chance you can snuggle up with DD and have a bit of a nap?

I just feel shit about it all as CAMHS report came back that DS is normal BUT this is not normal behaviour and according to CAMHS i should be able to ignore said behaviour BUT how can i ignore a little boy who for over an hour yesterday was screaming and hitting himself. Im fighting LEA, NHS and now him.

Oh Bonkers, hugs and mega hugs to you.
You are no way a shit mum.
You care enough about your ds to take all those b***ds on. The NHS, LEA are shit, and I know everyone agrees with that, especially in your case. It takes an absolutely fantastic mum to take on all that you have, and to still keep fighting for your ds. You are just a little tired, when you feel rested, you go get shits who are to blame. They know absolutely nothing about your ds, you are the expert on him as | am sure you know.
They have a duty of care to your son, and they have let him down badly.
They are idiots, and it makes me so when great mums like you have to fight for every bit of help for their ds. But you know what, they have picked on the wrong mum this time, because you are going to make them take notice of your ds.
Contact your local councillor, mp, opposition mps, everyone you can this of.
Go get them!

Please don't be so hard on yourself.

I don't know your situation but I can guarantee you aren't a S*it mum.

You sound knackered and worn down with everything.

My kids have been allowed the tv when I can't be bothered and I am permanently tired so sympathise there.

I hope your day gets better.

I think weekends are really tough, as you don't have a moment to yourself and you are just straight out knackered! Can you have a fag and a cup of tea (my cure for everything?). You are not a shit mum, you are just tired, and tired of fighting the idiots who tell you he's NF. I sometimes feel like saying to such people - "please come and spend just 3 hours looking after my DS before you judge how I am coping!!!" They would run screaming out the door after 1 hour! Big hugs Bonkerz

Not shit mum at all just knackered and worried sick.

I have a friend who has 6 kids the second of whom had some real behavioural stuff going on. None of the others had any difficulties but she had to put up with the family therapist going on for two hours that it was all down to the fact that she was a single mum and he was the only boy. As it turned out he has manic depression (which in children can mean they mood swing from one moment to the next) and chronic ADHD.

There are some right numpties out there. Unfortunatly they seem to be on your patch. Are you still going to go for the school with a unit because they have more experience (even if he doesn't get in the unit)? It may be that you get more answers when he starts there.

I still maintain, and I think you need to keep this in the forefront of your mind, that if a whole load of professionals in a school say they can't deal with him then that is more than just naughtiness and 'bad parenting'. I am a teacher and have taught all sorts and some of the behaviour you describe is much more than 'parenting' Have a nice cuddle with your daughter. Think of all the good things your son does, praise them when you see them. Try to ignore everything else unless it is risking life and limb.

Sending virtual chocolate and alcohol.

Email me if you wish - I'm at home tomorrow cause I've got an infected face (lovely!!!)

Only a caring mum would fight as hard as you obviously do to be your sons advocate and mum!!!! Just look at how many times you have posted asking for help/ support/ ways round the system etc.
You have been so busy fighting for your son (for years but especially the last few rollercoster months) no wonder you feel low and are letting the system get to you! I can guess how you feel - I have bleak moments (er- well days not just moments!). Its like your battery has run a bit flat and needs a recharge! I presume you still have a weeks holiday to survive, so a proper rest may have to wait. Can you go to bed early once the kids are asleep ( after a nice bath perhaps -my favorite - and read somthing to take your mind off your worry) - all week if necessary. Try and recall all the good things and happy moments! Is there anything Ds likes that could keep him occupied, calm and pleased with himself for a while? (Does he like tactile play like moon sand/doodles, or making things or swimming or planting seeds or making biscuits -give him some choices).
So remember you are a brilliant mum - it is the situation that is 's' - not you!

cheezy internet hugglezchocolate

I can identify with that knackered feeling at the moment. Both DS1 and DS2 have been driving me to the limit, lately :/

And FTR, between DH and both the kids, our telly is only off at mealtimes. Once milkshake is finished, it's CBeebies all day (except for Razzledazzle which terrifies DS2) but if the telly goes off, one of them turns it on and I've given up fighting it. (we had a power cut in the Good Friday storms and DS2 has been obsessing about the switch on the TV, ever since!)

thanks guys, the words you all type help spur me on.
the system is an arse! I know its the system thats wearing me down not DS. I know that but still find it hard to cope and i do take it out on the DCs no matter how hard i try not to.
Well DS was out till half four which was lovely and provided a much needed break! thankfully DD is not showing any similar traits and is happy to play on own for a while letting me chill on sofa with one of her easter eggs!
Feel a little better tonight. got meeting with parent partnership in morning to arrange what im gonna put in the statement appeal. Then im off to take DS to dentist which im dreading as im not sure how he will cope with it. Am trying the bribe root but you can never tell with DS how he will react till the time!

Hi everybody new user what do the following mean?
DS1 DS2 DD DH FTR
cheers

ds1 - oldest/first son

ds2 - 2nd son

dd - daughter

dh - husband

FTR - no idea what that means.

FTR = For the record