ok..here goes...

[JamSamBam]

its been a long time since i openly admitted what is going on with my ds2.

I find it difficlut to talk about his special needs as most of my family/friends dismiss them as him being a difficult/naughty child or me as a crappy mum. I have had him assesed, monitored, on treatmet, off treatment...you name it. Things have got remarkably worse in the last year and im now seeing some serious autistic thraits in him. Ive worked with adults with SN for some years but im now exhausted with watching these young men all day and fearing the worst for my own son. Ive changed jobs and have managed to live on a very low wage, but without any support form the school or the GP, im struggling.

we have been refused DLA on appeal twice, we cant get any grants as we dont get DLA, socila services will not help untill he has a more accurate and long term dx. To top it all off, my older ds is really missing out and getting stick for his brothers problems.

right, thats better!!

sorry to rant but as you all have a great deal of experience with the 'system' i felt this was the right place to offload...

hello again riven, i just repiled to you on the other thread!

He is nearly 7 and a lovely, funny, bright and entertaining boy BUT he is very different. I dosnt help that ive worked with SN adults as i can see him in them ( very scary).

I hope he is different from his peers as the little *t's round here bully him incessantly. They even threatend to kill him at school.

HI jamsambam !!

I am fairly new to all this, DS DX with AS a few weeks ago, so not sure I have got anything useful to advise.

We are now going to apply for DLA. Did you have any help filling in the forms ? My friend who gets middle rate has offered to help us fill in the forms as the are notoriously nightmare-ish to fill in(apparently).

What are the obvious triats that you mention ? I believe that how you word things on the form can have a huge bearing on wether you get DLA or not, not just what the probs are, IYSWIM.

Terrible about the bullying. What are the school doing to help. If they are not helping, is changing schools an option ?

changing schools isnt really an option as we live in a rural vilage. The village school is ok, but bullying is rife and his teacher admits she dosnt like him. The problems have come to a point where he comes home for lunch and has no chance of doing anything extra ( sports or clubs) as they wont have him. They dont want a 1-2-1 for him as the class already has one ( they are in mixed classes as the school is so small) and academically he is out performing the others of the same age!

The problems he has are mainly social, he cant understand personal space, his hearing is poor so he can get very loud, he cant sit or stand sill at all, he cant understand alot of the kids as its a Welsh school so that often ends in fights, he also has no idea about pain/hurting other people/boundries. he also has issues with climbing, escaping and generally running away from the school.
He wasnt being looked after at lunch time an was desperatly hungry all afternoon so he now has lunch at home. This is ok, but he misses out on the treats at lunchtime ( the school often has visitors to do art, crafts, sports etc at lunch time).

when you write it all down it seems so bad, he is also incontinent, dosnt sleep and has food allergies. He is hyperactive and has a condition that reacts to his medications, so is often off with sickness.

The DLA forms are a nightmare, but i had some good advice and (i thought) filled them out well, but we were refused as his GP had written on his part that he felt ds was ok, but had emotionla problems brought on by his parenting ( b***d). The school aslo refused to agree that he had SN.

If you are going to do DLA makesure you read it three or four times before you put pen to paper and write it all as if its the worst possible day your DD could have...

He has incontinenece but no DLA? that's hugely wrong- yyou need to talk to someone specialist, like an advocacy group, to look into that.

I could perhaps suggest that BIBIC could help? If you're on a low wage, they'll help with funding (they did us)- have a look at their website. you do categorically NOT need any form of DX for BIBIC, they work with the child as theya re and their apperwork can be very useful for DLA and statementing etc.

Shocked at your GP as well- when we went to see our GP, as DLA had written to him but he never actuallys aw ds3, he justa sked us what we found hardest etc with him and noted it all on the PC.

Because the incontinece has only been an issue in the last year ( although he has had an issue since birth) it has been quite hard to get it recognised as a problem. The gp dosnt like me as i told him to piss off when he said i was a bad parent becuase im fat...so im not surprised by him refusing to acknowledge ds's issues!!