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Regression in 9yo?

4 replies

londonsquirrel · 02/04/2024 07:01

DS is 9, autistic with ADHD, has demand avoidance and he is also bilingual. Sometimes I struggle to understand how he managed to pick up English (it took a long time even though he was born and raised in the UK, I now realise I was doing a lot of speech therapy myself).

I am often confused about what is happening in his head. Social stuff is obviously difficult to understand and I have my expectations adjusted there. But it seems like his understanding of the world was so much better when he was 5, there is some kind of regress happening. Yesterday we dropped off my friend at the airport and DS asked me why we were there at 4 when the friends flight was at 6. He has been to airports many-many times in his life, he even had a few book explaining how airports work, what the process is etc. He could definitely tell what happens at the airport when he was 5 or so! I am just so devastated every time I get these kinds of questions - I lose all hope.

Today, we watched a show about an eco village, where they had a communal laundry room. When he later came to the kitchen, he said that we did not have a washing machine. The washing machine has been in the same place for his whole life! It is a built in one, but still. I asked him to find what was the door for the washing machine and he looked under the sink?!

I am so confused... I do not understand what is happening. Is it a burnout with the loss of skills? Yesterday he was looking at a map of a fairly easy easter trail and he was persistently showing the wrong way. It scares me so much and I don't know how to help - I've been doing so much over the past 9 years with such little output (compared to the NT families), it led me to depression. And now it is getting even worse?!

OP posts:
BestZebbie · 02/04/2024 09:14

How is he on everyday things that he has responsibility for (even if that is in Minecraft or something!), rather than things adults do around him? As both arriving early for the airport and doing the washing sound like things other people do, not things he has ever had to be responsible for thinking about himself.

Headfirstintothewild · 02/04/2024 11:43

I agree with @BestZebbie. This could be DS not thinking/giving it much thought because it isn’t something he has responsibility for or sees every day. Some DC with ADHD, in particular find if something is out of sight (e.g. the washer) they struggle to remember it, it is why some with ADHD find open storage easier.

londonsquirrel · 02/04/2024 14:38

@BestZebbie that's a good theory... I am not sure how to evaluate his Minecraft performance :) We were getting ready for a holiday club today, packing a snack. He asked whether they have two snack times or one - he couldn't say even though he has been to that club many times. It feels like remembering and thinking is so hard for him... We cannot have a conversation about his day or a book - it is sad and I don't know what to do to stimulate it...

OP posts:
openupmyeagereyes · 02/04/2024 15:22

londonsquirrel did you used to be able to have a conversation with him about a book or his day?

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