In despair with 5 year old

[L00k4m3x]

I really don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve written before about how my son has been since Christmas. He will be 5 next month. Some background information he has autism, it affects him quite badly at different times of the year, it seems worse in winter/colder weather. His understanding is quite limited and so is his speech.

He has suddenly stopped speaking, stopped playing with all of his toys, doesn’t care for us anymore at all, doesn’t read his books, has days where he barely eats, seems more tired despite getting 10 hours of sleep a night. Screams when you try take him anywhere like parks and soft plays, both places he has always LOVED. 

I just don’t know what to do anymore, last year he started talking loads more, even saying please and thank you, telling us he loves us etc. he was doing so well at school, loved his little brother (now he hates him, cries whenever he makes noise, pushes him away etc), we even were able to ditch the stroller finally as he was walking everywhere, we went to arcades when on holiday, the beach, days out to farms etc. I was so proud of him. 

All he wants to do is sit on his tablet watching YouTube videos. If we try and take it off him he loses his mind, attacks himself, sobs uncontrollably and almost makes himself sick. So we end up giving it him back because it breaks my heart. I actually don’t know what to do? Has anybody been in this situation before? He had a very tablet/youtube obsession early last year but he didn’t seem quite this bad with it and came out of it on his own!

Please kind responses only, I am really in a bad place right now!

[Headfirstintothewild]

Have you taken DS to the GP to rule out a physical cause? I think I would want a referral to a pead to rule out a physical cause.

worse in winter/colder weather.

Have you considered SAD? Does DS take vit D?

[L00k4m3x]

@Headfirstintothewild He has been to the doctors in recent weeks for a chest infection where he did have ears, mouth, heart rate, and breathing checked but are you thinking something more in depth?

I did wonder about SAD back in January and we bought him a decent multivitamin and high dose vitamin D. He has it every single day pretty much, I don’t think it’s made much difference 😔 Although I did read it can take a while to build back up again if you truly are low in it?

[Headfirstintothewild]

It is easy for HCPs to dismiss symptoms in DC with additional needs. This is not typical for DS. You are concerned enough to post here. So with all that in mind I would want to rule out a physical cause and to do that I would want DS to be seen by a paed, bloods doing as well as things like PANS/PANDAS ruling out.

[needhopeandluck]

Regressive autism after 3 is quite uncommon. Best to speak to a paediatrician. Forget about GPs and HVs, most of them are useless. Act superconcerned and ask for a referral to a paediatrician asap.

[L00k4m3x]

I have been looking in to autistic burnout and I’m pretty certain it’s what we’re dealing with! 😩 I’d never heard of it before until a member of a different group pointed it out to me. It fits him to a T right now. Exhaustion, hyper fixating on a specific special interest, obsessed over these oaty bars he’s always loved but never quite this much, not wanting to leave the house. He’s had a much better day in comparison to yesterday. I’m really hoping the upcoming holidays helps him, I really think he’s need some time off from school to unwind at home.

[Scratchybaby]

I haven't dealt with this before, and I don't doubt you're worried! No judgement at all from me on the tablet use either.

Is he at school and has there been any change in demands there? The only thing I can add to the suggestions already made is that it sounds like the tablet is a needed coping mechanism? I've read that for some ND kids that games and youtube videos - where they can control an outcome or reaction, there's a predictable pattern of language and events - gives them a sense of control that they need when too many things are outside their control.

I don't have any suggestions on any physical issue that could be going on, but it sounds like the tablet obsession might be a symptom of what's going on, rather than the issue itself. Agree that GPs and HVs in my experience just fob you off - make yourself a nuisance and get someone to actually listen to you so you can rule out physical health issues if there are no obvious changes in social demands that he's dealing with. You know what you're talking about when it comes to your DS x