Trying to work/further education with sen children

[vxiy]

Looking for advice. I’m a single mother to 4 and 3 of my boys have additional support needs with my youngest also having global developmental delay so requires a lot of support. I have been looking into further education but my youngest son has started having extreme meltdowns where he throws things around and screams non stop because he is non verbal. He is currently in a mainstream nursery but they have advised he transfers to an asn nursery so his needs can be met. If I continue into further education my kids may need after school care and I don’t think a childminder could handle my son’s meltdowns. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Is it even worth trying to get work or go to college or should I just claim carers allowance? Feeling really stuck and down, I have no other support.

have you thought about what you will do when your youngest starts reception? will be able to go mainstream?

I am in Scotland so he won’t start school until he is 5, he qualifies for a 2 year placement in council nursery as he is in receipt of disability benefits but they are advising for his 3 year old placement he be transferred to an asn nursery. This is in another town and he will need transport so I need to be available to pick him up after nursery too from the tax. I get numerous calls weekly from the nursery he is currently in to pick him up because they can’t handle his meltdowns so I don’t see a childminder being able to handle him either. Ideally I need to find a school house job but I’m I. A very rural area and don’t drive so they are few and far between x

Taxi*

School hours job** sorry about the typos

single mum
4 children
3 with SEN, 1 very serious
Lives very rurally
Doesn’t drive

OP i hate to be pessimistic but…. as your children grow older life is going to become even harder.

surely you limited to the village school? and any shops the village may have?

Yes and I’m trying my best which is why I’m trying to find a job? There is 3 schools in my village and transport available but I need to be available for my children. There is no after school care in the schools here only childminders.

I am qualified to work in childcare but there is no jobs available. I just finished a teaching assistant course which worked around school hours and wanted to do my hnc but I can’t get the after school care. Also the council have just cut funding here for teaching assistants so I’m not having much luck

what about being a child minder?

i think learning to drive should be a priority tbh

I am learning to drive actually and you can’t just be a childminder you need space, resources and health and safety but thanks for your useless advice we can’t all be as perfect as you ☺️

bloomin heck op

good luck!!

Rather than a childminders you could look at a PA or SN nanny.

What support in school are your 2 older DC with additional needs receiving? Do any of them have CSPs? Have you had social care assessments? A carer’s assessment for you and assessment via the children with disabilities team for DC. How old is your youngest DC? Many parents of DC with additional needs can’t work/undertake further study, but where they can it is easier if you have all the support possible in place. Lots who study do distance learning courses which they can fit in around caring for DC.

I don’t think the pp’s suggestion of being a child minder is a good idea. With 3 with additional needs it just isn’t a viable suggestion.

My Older two children are in mainstream school one is 14 and the other 7. My 14 year old is mostly high functioning but my 7 year old struggles with behaviour and emotional regulation and would also struggle with going to after school care or a childminder. It’s mostly my youngest son I am struggling to fit anything around as he still has numerous appointments to attend. I’m in Scotland so I’m not sure what csp is but we don’t have a disability social worker or anything like that in place.

A CSP is a co-ordinated support plan. It applies in Scotland. Have a look at Enquire’s website. Also, request social care assessments.

Yes sorry I think his school calls it a personal support plan my 7 year old has one. I don’t really want to involve social services over childcare issues tbh I can manage their care it’s just Everything else outside of that

A co-ordinated support plan isn’t the same as a personal support plan. Have a look at Enquire which will explain what a CSP is.

no one suggested getting SW involved. in childcare issues (they wouldn’t anyway!).

instead the PP said Have you had social care assessments? A carer’s assessment for you and assessment via the children with disabilities team for DC.

It doesn’t seem like you are accessing any of the support that would be available for a single mother of 4 children, 3 with sen, one of who. is going to need lifelong support

No one has suggested any support for me. My son sees a paediatrician, SALTS, OT, physiotherapy, educational psychologist. He has all these supports in place, my other two children are in mainstream and have support through their school.

it’s not support for you per se

It is support for your children which would in turn may allow for you to study / work

for example, the possibility of respite date for your son with the very serious needs to allow you to have some quality time with your other children

it isn’t something to be scared or suspicious of

I didn’t suggest social care assessments just because of childcare or because I think you are a terrible parent (I absolutely don’t think that!). I suggested them because you sound overwhelmed and you are not accessing all the support out there. A positive side effect of this may be you can access respite during some of the times you would happen to need childcare.

The reason I asked youngest DC’s age was because you could also look at Home Start if under 5.