Hi everyone, this is my first time posting but I am in need of some helpful advice please 🙏🙏
I am a single mum of 3 children, I am in receipt of DLA for my youngest child (14) , I receive child benefit and have just recently had my carers allowance stopped due to me tipping over the threshold of hours at work, which has ploughed me into worry and stress.
I was forced to claim Universal Credit at the time of my separation (3 years ago) as I didn’t have a permanent job but my circumstances now are that I can only work 10 hours part time to keep within the criteria of earnings towards receiving Carers allowance. If I don’t decide to apply for carers again then my X has the opportunity to do this .
My X partner does not have a permanent job but does supply teaching and he is now living with his new partner who also works. I was extremely vulnerable at the time of our separation and my mental health suffered greatly, he always had the upper hand in any conversation regarding what he thought he was entitled to which resulted in me agreeing verbally I give him half of my DLA, which I have done for 3 years since living apart. He has always reminded me that he should get half of most of my benefits and says he wishes he’d been more persuasive in the beginning!!
As my carers allowance has now stopped, this greatly reduces my monthly payments income by £300, my X has always said if ever I can’t claim it then I’m to notify him so that he can apply ( only 1 parent can claim)
As things stand atm, I haven’t mentioned it has stopped to him yet partly due to I’m scared of his reaction therefore I need the correct advice first.
My question is can I tell him I can no longer give him half of my DLA? due to losing my carers , it has hit me financially hard and I need the full amount DLA to cover my losses from losing the carers benefit? His gain would be he could apply for the carers allowance himself and effectively not lose out on the money ( if he’s successful ), infact he would gain due to the amount of carers he’d receive against the amount I give him.
He has never given me any child maintenance because he says we share the care equally of our 3 children so I just went along with his wishes at the time to avoid any conflict or bad feelings.
I want to tackle this confidentiality and assertively with him and need the know whether I’m within my rights in doing so. Nevertheless, I am worried he will somehow figure out a way to still make me pay him half of the DLA . This isn’t about getting the upper hand with him, it’s about the reality of my circumstances and simply a matter of survival as a single parent. I fear him reacting in such a way that will undermine my reasoning for doing so, which ultimately will lead to more stress and anxiety for me.
I hope all that makes sense!!
thank you in anticipation of any useful advice ? 🙏🙏🙏