Advice please for a friend with a son with suspected autism........

[lottiejenkins]

I have a lovely friend whos youngest son is soon to be assessed for autism. Her health visitor came round last week and left her in tears,,, apparently she told my friend that she has to stop her sons obsessions with things ie lining things up switching radios on and off and such like... basically she has run my friend down on every aspect of how she brings her son up, and to top that she said "why are you crying?" when she'd finished with her... What i need to know is should she try to stop the obsessions, which i think is easier said than done. My friends sister is livid with the hv and has said she will be there with her next time the hv comes round.

lottie if it were only that simple that we could just "stop" our children's obsessions...

that hv sounds awful, I would go to the gp and get referrals started, everywhere is different... I think the hv needs a complaint put in, in writing... she shouldn't really be in the job if that is the way she treats people, hope you get some good advice, just didn't want to read and not respond, the whole process is so hard to deal with, your friend needs sympathy and support, not exactly what the hv was offering?

Shes got a date for a referral to the local childrens unit..... i agree the hv does sound unsympathetic.........

Lottie I'v found trying to stop just increases ds2's anxiety & distress.
I do try & limit & distract, not to try & cure or make him "normal" but because otherwise it would totally control the house.
I've found smal changes work best

HV sounds useless. Unless HV is usually better than this would advise your friend to tell her that her "help" is no longer required.

I think it's best to try and limit rather than cut them out all together. How miserable would the HV be if someone told her she could never do something that she enjoyed, or that helped her to relax, or to do whilst trying to work out something? If it gets to the point where it is all consuming that cutting back is advisable, but no reason to stop completely.

Wether to stop obsessions (imo) depends on how her son responds to them. If they're useful for him then she could let them run but perhaps encourage other less exclusive activities where possible. If however they become distressing to him (ds1 has compulsions rather than obsessions and they make him manic) then they are best limited where possible. I don't think you can stop them.

We use "last time" a lot to try and limit obsessions.

HV sounds a chocolate teapot and presumably has had bugger all training in ASDs.