Worried ds 2 has aspergers

[SpacecadetOnADiet]

This is long im afraid...

ds 2 has just had his 7th birthday..since he was ab out 4 Ive had slight concerns but never anything I could really put my finger on..developementally..he reached all his milestones but speech was sigificantly delayed..speech therapy seemed to improve things but he still speaks in a very lilting type of voice, often merging letters together at the beggining or end of words..he has only recently learned to ride a bike without stabilisers. He has serious obsessions..every morning when he gets dressed he has to repeatedly adjust the collar on his polo shirt..he collects things, bottle tops, pebbles..etc and arranges them in boxes in his bedroom and every day without fail, gets them down and counts them, he also lines them all up on the fireplace repeatedly and they have to be just so.hes terrified of crowds and busy places or loud places, lead him to panic and put his hands over his ears. he quite often repeats nonsense words over and over, or couts imagineary things in thin air.. he goes beserk if I spring anything on him he wasnt expecting..such as a shopping trip etc..he seems to have a great thirst for knowledge..but beyond what you would expect..he contantly asks complex questions..like why did the world begin etc and will talk about his chosen subject every day for weeks. On his birthday..he wrote a list of desired presents..transformers movie and 2 dinky transformer toys..thats all he wanted..when other presents arrived on his birthday..he unwrapped each one silently until he got to his "list" presents then became overjoyed...I could go on...hes recently been told hes a maths whizz and is more able and talented..no surprise when he is contantly counting things...he doesnt seem to have a friendship group and seems to prefer hois own company at school..when children speak to him at school, he often ignores them or comes out with something silly.His teacher isnt concerned and thinks im worried about nothing as hes good as gold at school..but his behaviour is generally quite good anyway unless his routine goes out the window.
He collects coppers in a box and gets them out and counts them evetyday..quite obsessively.....yesterday..he came home with 15 pounds in pound coins..it was the snack money from school..I was devastated that he could do this..but..he didnt seem to realise it was wrong..he openly showed the money to me and said he took it because he likes to collect money and wanted to put it in his tin.
I went in to see the headmisstress today and explained everything..she was dismissive of my concerns and said ds was a liar and a thief..she then spoke to ds and told me that ds knew exactly what he had done and that I was making excuses for his behaviour..im not..but i genuinely dont beleive that ds understood it was wrong..or thought about the consequences..Im so upset now..b ecause I just feel its yet another bout of ds"odd" behaviour but I dont know where to turn to seek help for him.

hi Spacecadet

DFirstly ignore the Head, ours tried toa ctively prevent ds1's diagnosis (HFA / AS) and I ahve long learned that there are so manyr easons for them not to want a dx that the child is often last on the list.

You said ds had significant speech delays- theoretically thata ctually wipes out AS as a diagnosis doesn't it? As far as I understand it, AS is ASD wiythout a speech delay. A speech delay and normal IQ = HFA (high functioning autism), and speech delay with low IQ = ASD.
However, find 2 Paediatricians who use the same diagnostic procedures properly and youll be lucky!

It's also worth noting, as my APed likes to remind me often, that it can be very difficult to tella chilsd who is developing from a starting point of severe SLD (sppech and language delay) from a child with ASD as they often follow similar pathways.

Most importantly i think though is your gut instinct. And at 7, a child is well aplced for a DX of HFA or AS (DS1 was 6 when he got his DX- 8 now- ds3 is 4.5 and ahs had several DX's but is most significantly severe SLD- he has HFA we're sure but it doesn't affect him as much as the SLD).

Defintely get a referral, have a look at the triad of impairments of the national autistic society website, and good luck.

Thanks for the advice..Id already made a mental note to myself to write everything down..otherwise I will forget what I want to say..ds tends to "tape record" everything he hears and then plays it back, word for word, If that makes any sense.hence me feeling uncomfortable with talking in front of him..Peachy..Ive always thought for a while that ds was probably high functioning AS..its interesting to note that speech delay means more likely high functioning..he wasnt late talking..but had severe problems with pro nunciation..which still hasnt gone away..and quite often..his letters seem to merge together..hard to describe really.

Sorry to jump on your thread, but PEACHY do you think it makes a difference if the dx is wrong? My ds1 is dx as as, I assume he has normal iq, he talked at the normal time, but his speech has aways been very problematic - complete pronoun reversal, mainly questions, some pronuncition problems. He has salt assessment at school every term. Do you think it matters if he is hfa or as? Would I/professionals be treating him differently? You know a lot more than me so I'd be grateful for your opinion. He has never had his iq tested by the way - academically he is at the bottem of his class(yr 1 and just learning to read/write), but I think he's normal - I don't even know who I would ask to test him if I should get him tested.

NBot sure I know that much! but I think there are a few differences- and they pretty much all down to the reosurces that tend to be available ime. AS does tend to getw ritten off as less than HFA, in actual reality (having one of each) my child with the 'lesser' dx is by far the most difficult, becuase of additional behavioural issues etc.

Your DS sounds a buit like DS1- ds1 is bright, IQ last tested as 130 but stillc an't write his own name in yr3. He has just been dx'd with dyslexia as additional to his AS/ HFA, but school are now questioning whether his OQ and SALta ssessments were wrong and in fact he is lower functining (he isn't, I know that).

In all honesty I think labels are important becuase of things like statements, DLA etc- but in real life all that matters is finding the behavioural cues and techniques that they reposnd to. DS3 is manageable and has good behaviours despite being about 2 years behind in most things 9and at 4.5 thats quite noticeable); we know how to manage his needs. DS1 however we stillc an't manage to work out, and as such he is more needy, whatever label is attahced to him.

well Ive just spent hours reading through the info on hfa and as and have to say..the descriptions fitted my ds to a tee.

Thank you - I think I might have to approach his paed about this - bit difficult as he dx him, but then he did admit to not being an expert in autism!

The paed may be OK, ours keeps saying it's a continuum and you never can tell where a child will end by where they started.

Ive ressurected this thread as 2 years later Im happy to report that DS is at junior school where he has flourished.we have recently received a dx of HFA..but tbh its a relief..

he is excelling at school and is obviously very intelligent...and much to our surprise has made friends!...he still very much struggling with social eitiquette though and other social situations..but is much better than he was..obviously he still has his obsessions..at the moment its football cards..weve learnt that under no circumstances do we spring anything unexpected on him without full and advance warning...I made the mistake of doing this back in november when collecting him from school and was rewarded with him screaming and kicking the back of my seat in the car for about 20 mins..distressing as I was about 17 weeks pregnant at the time.
We also have to ask him what he wants for his birthday and christmas and we do not deviate from what he asks for as unexpected presents result in meltdown...his birthday list consisted of
football cards and two other items..if only the DC's were as easily pleased!
he is a very likeable young lad though and is very kind hearted which is why I think other children like him...but of course he cannot lie and has no tact!..subsequently he can be very blunt and says exactly what he thinks..I wouldnt have him any other way though

thanks for retrievinh and posting. it's so interesting to hear what happens next. is your ds on a statement or action plan?

he has not yet been statemented but has an IEP in place..although his teacher has said academically they are not actually concerned apart from his spelling..which is dire! however when she was organising the school christmas play..he quite bluntly informed her that he did not want a part..at all..as he did not like people looking at him...so his wishes were respected and he was excempt from the school play..amazingly we finally got the diagnosis through taking DD2 to the speech therapist..we had to take DS2 along as it was in the holidays and the speech therapist actually asked if he had a diagnosis..she offered to send out some paperwork which I cannot for the life of me remember what she called it (pregnancy brain) we filled it in and she said there was a definate need for a referal

Thanks for the update. It is so interesting to hear how things are going two years down the line and how you got there! Your little boy sounds lovely.