Should I move nursery?

[Emeraldrings]

My son attends nursery 3.5 days a week, long hours 3 days. I work there too and because of that I know how many children are on the rota..
DS has an undiagnosed additional need. We suspect (along with other professional's we've spoken to)that it's autism or global delay. Anyway in the last few months the number of children in his room has shot up, most days normally close to 40 children.
I'm on the verge of removing him. It's not that he's ignored exactly but he doesn't get much attention. He's on a SEN plan but his key worker just doesn't have time to follow the plan (not her fault). He's regressed anyway since moving in to this room but he's going backwards more now. In the last 3 days he's had two major major meltdowns which is an unusual amount and has also had a couple at nursery which is unusual.
I think he's overwhelmed by the amount of children and the noise but with no official diagnosis is anyone ever going to be able to help him?
But he's leaving nursery in August for school so is it worth switching nursery? Or is it the same at all nurseries? What would/did you do if you had a similar situation?

Support in nursery is based on needs, not diagnosis. Have you spoken to the nursery? Has an EHCNA been requested? Have they applied for early years top up funding and requested advice from the Area SENCO?

How DS would cope with 2 moves so close together? And how long would it take him to settle and for the new nursery to get to know his needs?

So I'm in a similar situation. DS probably autistic, but not yet diagnosed. He's in the preschool room at his nursery, where I think there are 25-30 children most days. But he's actually doing better than in his previous smaller room because the support is better.

These are the things nursery have put in place to help keep him regulated without an EHCP:

• a sensory box for him to use to calm
• sensory circuits with eg a yoga ball
• a "quiet tent" he can go to if he feels overwhelmed, the other children know not to bother him in there
• social stories about upcoming unusual events
• they do a lot of zones of regulation type work with the whole class
• they get lots of outdoor time in this room, so he can get away from the noise of the room and run off his anxious energy

Personally, I'd work on increasing support in the room rather than moving him. Has nursery applied for EYSIF money, that could potentially be used for interventions, that give him some time each day out of the room, in small groups?

Yeah I am not sure he would cope with two moves which is why I'm hesitating. And it might end up being 3 moves as I really don't think he'll cope in mainstream school.
EHCP has been applied for and educational phycologist is visiting next month, so I know they are doing things but day to day is the struggle.
I think I get less empathy than most parents because I work there so they see me as a staff member and forget I'm a parent too.
When I did talk to them they admitted he sometimes goes and lies on the changing mat just to get away from the noise. They thought this was funny but it made me sad. They are trying to separate in to smaller groups (about 12 per group) but they are still in the same area really. It wasn't busy like that when he started there.

Would DS use noise cancelling headphones? Some DC find a pop up tent reduces overwhelm, worth asking if the nursery will try that.

I wouldn’t move now. LAs like to use anything as an excuse not to issue an EHCP and when DC have recently moved setting they often use the unlawful excuse of we need to wait to see how they settle. Make sure the LA sticks to the timescales.

Have you spoken to the primary SENCO at the school DS is likely to get a place at?

With working there you may not be doing this, but make sure you follow up verbal conversations with emails so you have a paper trail as evidence should you need it at a later date.

He used to get time out 1:1 in the sensory room but they don't have enough staff to do that now.

I have spoken to two Sencos (we are close to 2 schools so not sure which one he'll get in to). One pretty much said they wouldn't be able to meet his needs adequately. The other was more positive but then I spoke to someone at work who's MIL works there and she said they aren't very good with SEN kids so...
They did have a pop up tent for the SEN children but other children kept using it and it got broken. Tbh DS didn't really use it anyway (probably because other children were there). He won't tolerate headphones and I really worry that he's not coping and will struggle even more at school. I wish I could just remove him from nursery but that's not an option until August and I think September is going to be rough. I'm worried for DS teacher too. DS hates getting changed eg for PE, isn't toilet trained, is non verbal, has meltdowns, struggles with change. How are they going to deal with it? Will I get endless phone calls?

The school should not call you to go in or collect. Some schools do try that though, sadly. If the school needs more funding to support DS they can apply for high needs top up funding. The nursery has let you down somewhat by not requesting an EHCNA before now. DS will need an EHCP. Once you know the school DS will be attending it is worth speaking to the school about an enhanced transition.