4 year old ASD or ADHD

[Tiddlesem]

I am very torn about my nearly 4 year old DD and whether I need to pursue an assessment for her or not. Some things that are of concern are difficulty potty training, still in nappies due to previous constipation and witholding leading to her refusing to do poos anywhere except nappies.

Very fussy eater and limited diet. Does not eat any vegetables or meat except chicken nuggets. Very rigid around routines. Dad has to put her to bed and has to settle her at night time if she wakes. Big reactions over clothes getting wet. Has hearing difficulties due to glue ear. Can be very hard to get her attention.

During her first school play she didn't sing any songs at all and just seemed away in her own world.

On the other hand she is very social. Loves spending tjme with friends and actually prefers school to being home. Nursery haven't mentioned anything of concern. Would you purse further if it was your child? I've mentioned it to GP but haven't gone further than that.

She often talks at people and talks a lot and can be very hyperactive, randomly screaming and talking gibberish. Maybe I'm reading into things too much and it's just normal 3 nearly 4 year old behaviour

Did your GP mention referral to the health visitor for an additional development check? Our LO was noticeably different from his peers at 2 whilst very sociable - witholding and constipation, very narrow range of accepted foods at 2 having eaten everything at 18 months, rigid around routines, very sensitive to sensory stimuli, speech delay, but main issues were impulsivity and hyperactivity way beyond normal age related expectations.
Nursery commented too once we'd broached it with them (they can be reluctant to say anything at first in case parents react badly) and he had an additional development check with the health visitor at 3 yrs 2 months. That check resulted in referral to the community paediatrician a year later and LO is now awaiting assessment for ASD and ADHD.

Some of your descriptions of DD would be considered within normal age related expectations, such as the school play, but the number of areas where you have concerns add up to it being worth speaking with nursery in the first instance and asking how she compares to her peers.

How was your son different from his peers regarding social communication if you don’t mind me asking ?

Whether ASD, ADHD, due to the hearing difficulties or something else, I think there is enough in your posts to warrant further assessment. Have you spoken to the nursery and HV?

@angpat delayed speech, echolalia, no back and forth conversations, using physicality for communication, not picking up on peers tiring of the activities when he wanted to keep going, very single minded, very very fizzy behaviour, a total live wire.

Ok thank you! Were there any signs before 2 like lack of pointing or gestures ? Or lack of interest in other people ?

The school will notice and mention it to you. They'll ask if you want to pursue diagnosis etc.. gp will pay more attention when its refered from school. By us the things youve mentioned + other things is adhd. School mentioned autism aswell but no we dont fit there at all. Just scared of some noises and like you if gets wet big drama..

And by the way dont worry too much over potty training..to my surprise theres children still i nappies at school.... mine stopped right before reception and all of a sudden so it might happen for you any second.

The school will notice and mention it to you.

This isn’t always the case, unfortunately.