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Attention deficit?

12 replies

VictoriaMum323 · 12/01/2024 09:26

Good morning. I am looking for some guidance on whether I should visit a professional about this. My son is almost 9 years old. He has been in two different primary schools as we relocated to London from another country. In both schools the teachers have informed me that they will explain at the front of the class what the task for the morning or afternoon is and then all the children will crack on and my son will sit there looking like he doesn’t know what to do. Then the teacher has to come over and explain and talk him through the questions on the worksheet and then he knows what to do. I don’t know if this is a confidence thing, an ability issue (which fine we will address) or an attention deficit issue. I am concerned he isn’t concentrating. He also takes a really long time to complete worksheets or any writing tasks. He misses questions on the first page of the worksheet and when the teacher tells him about it, he says oh I didn’t see those. The questions he does answer he does well. His comprehension exercise was patchy. For the questions he does answer he answers well but he needs so much more time than others.

My question : AIBU to think this may be an attention deficit issue? Does anyone see these examples as being signs of attention deficit disorder?

He is quite an intense child. He gets very frustrated and angry when things don’t go according to plan at home. He fights all the time with his brother whom he is competitive with.

he is amazing in so many ways And is well behaved at school. But he is quite difficult at home.

No issues with socialising with other children (other than his brother). He is a quieter child in the classroom but like a hurricane at home sometimes. He gets invited round for play dates all the time and other children like him. Genuinely no issues at all with friends.

thank you!

OP posts:
Reugny · 12/01/2024 09:28

we relocated to London from another country.

Was the first language in the other country English and British English at that?

VictoriaMum323 · 12/01/2024 09:32

@Reugny many thanks. He was in an international school (a British school) and his friends and teachers and nanny all spoke fluent English full time.

OP posts:
VenhamousSnake · 12/01/2024 09:34

How is his reading?

Can he read quickly, fluently, out loud and in his head?

When he reads, does he understand everything he is reading?

VictoriaMum323 · 12/01/2024 09:36

Looking back at my message I don’t think I have done justice to how wonderful my boy is. He is so kind and considerate and enthusiastic when he chats about his day. He loves arts and craft. He likes to read but loses focus after a while and so he doesn’t actually read very much. He will get excited about the new book but then doesn’t follow it through by reading for very long. he is brave with wanting to go on rollercoasters and do ice skating and ride a big mountain bike.

he is adorable with toddlers. Absolutely so sweet and caring.

However if something doesn’t go as planned he will get very angry and shout and slam doors. He will also lash out and hit his brother or parents. We are working on these things. As I say, this is only with family. He is very socially aware and wouldn’t have an outburst with or in front of people who are not in our little family.

OP posts:
BoohooWoohoo · 12/01/2024 09:40

I have a son with ADHD and dyslexia and he’s very popular with his peers. I can have a conversation with him and even when it’s quiet (no distractions), he won’t have processed what I’ve said.

If your son has Special Needs then you need an educational psychologist to assess him and come up with strategies that may help him. Be warned that not all private educational psychologist reports are accepted in state schools. The ones arranged through school may take a long time to arrange but the reports should carry on to future schools too. It’s best to ask the school for advice.

VictoriaMum323 · 12/01/2024 09:40

@VenhamousSnake thanks for your message. He can read well. He gets good results in spelling tests. There are some words that he struggles with but they tend to be the harder ones like extravagant. The worksheets he can read fine I believe. It’s a good point though, I should probably just check that I am correct on that point and ask him to read some things.

when his maths tutor asks him to read a problem question he just reads it out loud to her and it’s fine, so I don’t think there are any concerns there.

he does focus during the maths tutor lessons but in some ways he has no choice as the tutor is sitting right there!

he watches tv only on the weekends for up to 1.5 hours altogether. No iPads at all. However at school some work is on a laptop.

OP posts:
VictoriaMum323 · 12/01/2024 09:42

@BoohooWoohoo thank you. Please may I ask : have any of the things I’ve said sounded a little bit like ADHD to you? I am completely completely new to this world of special needs. I have no idea about it. I will look into an educational psychologist thank you.

OP posts:
Reugny · 12/01/2024 09:53

OP ask MN HQ to move your thread to Special Needs -> SN childrens part of Mumsnet. You will get more useful help there.

You will need to report your first post to do this.

VictoriaMum323 · 12/01/2024 10:06

@Reugny thanks it’s not offering me the option to report my post.. I am
probably just not being the brightest crayon in the box today! Will have another look

OP posts:
Reugny · 12/01/2024 11:08

I've reported it. Hopefully MN will move it there

VictoriaMum323 · 12/01/2024 11:29

Thanks! My post is now in the right space.

Grateful if anyone who is familiar with ADHD can let me know if the points I have made in my post are signs of ADHD and to provide other examples of signs of ADHD that I can consider whether they are apparent in my son. Many thanks

OP posts:
freespirit333 · 14/01/2024 20:42

Hi OP. My DS is 8 and has a diagnosis of ADHD.

I would never have known as a toddler, he was a very easy baby and 2 year old. He started to become defiant around the age of 3 and this crossed over into nursery at times. Refusing to put his coat on, or come in from playing, making silly noises on the mat when everyone was meant to be quiet and listening to a story, that sort of thing. Similar in reception, less defiance but silly
noises/not concentrating.

This has been consistent. I feel like it’s fairly noticable now compared with his peers, he has this visible restlessness and really struggles with sitting when he doesn’t have anything that he’s interested in to keep him occupied. This is key, he can sit for a long while with a book/magazine that he’s interested in, or playing on his Switch/watching TV.

Work wise he’s ok, but I think he does sometimes need whole class instructions broken down. We did a piece of comprehension homework together today though and he obviously hadn’t read the piece properly, he’s prone to rushing things and being careless.

He’s pretty classic ADHD essentially! Although he’s always slept well. He also has DCD.

The moods sound similar to your DS, although his do stray into other areas such as at school, less so at this age though. He doesn’t have full blown meltdowns but he is so easy to irriitate. He’s also a huge wind up merchant and teases awfully. I think this is also a trait.

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