Finding it hard to like my son at present. Help please! Long Rant!

[magso]

I know this is minor in the scale of things for most of you, but it is getting to me.
Ds (8sn)an early waker, is at his most impulsive, thoughtless(in the truest sense!) and clumsy when he gets up. I have been ill (minor-viruses) and am not always waking when ds does now, so he can cause havok whilst I sleep. (Dh sleeps like the dead and doesn't even wake for the fire alarm!) This is not deliberate destruction, just messyness/ emptying/ looking for toys. He is hungry so finds food. He forgets house rules and eats it in the lounge (hard to clean up). Our house was pretty Ds proof, (locks on cuboards/ window/ doors, cuboards nailed to walls etc) but Ds is so strong many are now broken or can be overpowered. On top of the mess and wet bedding each morning, is a difficult attitude - which is part his poor social awareness and part defiance and it is getting to me.
I should be pleased Ds speech has improved so much- but with it has come an arrogant/invincable tone which is hard to live with even though I know its his asd. Ds (8) wets the bed several times a night (nappies leak or he takes them off)- i'm used to the washing but now he says 'I wet the bed' so proudly! I wish he could just add sorry without being prompted! Today he said 'you have to wash it'! (With the tone of get on with it women!)Getting him ready for school takes all my energy and I have several hours work to repair the damage my failure to wake has allowed. The curtain rail (a very chunky one held on with extra strong bolts) has been ripped off the wall again, the sofa cushions and carpet need washing again today, along with 2 wet duvets, 4pjs and sheets/pads etc. We are certainly doing our bit for global warming!! Ds does look angelic when asleep, but I dread him waking (or worse still waking to the sounds of ds already downstairs!) and dread the taxi coming after school to deliver my whirlwind home!
What do others do when you feel negative about your beloved child?

I know how you feel, my sons behaviour is very negative at the moment, deliberatley defying me, hurting me, not doing what hes asked when hes asked!! I know what you are going thru magso,,, hugs to you xxx

Thanks Lottie! Yes not doing what hes asked when asked _ I know about that one! The neighbours must think I only say NOW (its the word I say extra loud when I've already been ignored!)
At least writing my rant made me smile! I feel such a damp squib! I only have one child and only work part time so why am I struggling! Consequences only work if ds is reminded of them - he doesnt seem to remember for himself!
How hum! Its a good drying day, and a nonworking day so I just need a kick I think! (and dont think about the holidays!)

I only have my ds at weekends and he seems to save his negative behaviour for when hes with me, as to neighbours im very lucky as im very close to mine, next door hubby came round and rescued me last night, im not normally scared of spiders but there was a SUPER HUMUNGOUS one on my yellow curtain next to the computer, i darent sit down in case i touched the curtain and it ran away, anyway "superneighbour" swung to the rescue and we saved it in a jamjar to show Mrs next door so i could show her i wasnt being a wet blanket! She agreed with me and we threw it away a long way from her kitchen door!!

Oh we have lots of spiders- they like our old house! Ds was facinated when younger, but now goes balistic! I think a dragon would get a better reception! Neighbours are nice but I dont know them well, so I dont know what they think of the screeching when ds does see a spider!
School complain about ds behaviour, but it always feel like I get the worst of it.
Feel a bit better now! Vaxed the carpet and only one wash load to go and rain holding off! House still looks destroyed - think I might need to learn replastering skills, dh is a good carpenter fortunatly! Wondering about a bigger lock on the lounge -the only downstair room with carpet and curtains! Only 2.5 hours left to get order back!

I certainly sympathise with the waking early and destroying the house thing! Ds woke early on Sunday (as usual!) but as I'd been up late working the night before and was shattered I fell back to sleep. I woke to a terrible shrieking and shot downstairs (nearly broke my neck - no glasses on ) to find ds struggling with a big framed picture he'd somehow got off the wall. He must have climbed up on to the back of the settee to reach it as if he'd just knocked it down it would have hit the radiator and smashed. When he stopped wailing I heard another noise and realised it was the defrost alarm on the freezer. The door was wide open and everything was going soft. Ds must have been looking for lollies which is one of his things atm.

It's not the best way to start the day is it? And doesn't exactly make you look fondly at your darling child!

There was a big spider by our coat rack yesterday. I was scared it would hide in the coats and was not about to tackle it myself so I got ds's taxi driver to get rid of it for me .

Hi Pixel! Thanks for understanding! I was such a grump this morning - No one else can be as bad! Ds will not be not want to go in lounge as carpet is wet and he hates wet things .
Yes the fridge alarms are frequent in our house too - not loud enough from bed though! No longer keep lollies or icecream in house! (We have a small freezer in the garage for ds favorites . Biggest problem is milk as ds forgets to stop pouring - then compounds things by trying to clean up the mess (pushing spilt milk under the kichen units to fester!)I buy little bottles and put a cup ready lidded in the fridge to limit the inevitable, but he forgets and does his own sometimes!

Yes, what is it with those alarms that they aren't quite loud enough to hear from upstairs but really really irritating when you are downstairs and can't shut them up!
We have got a little freezer in the shed for the same reason but it's right at the bottom of the garden, and it's cold and wet so I got lazy. Serves me right I suppose!

Oh and don't worry, I can do grumpy and ranting just fine at 5am when I've already had ds climbing about all over me for an hour or so. Luckily dd was brought up in a pub so sleeps through most things otherwise we'd be like a family of zombies .