I have an 8 yo who was diagnosed ASD in reception and now I believe my youngest who is 7 is also on the spectrum and I'm going to ring GP to sort out diagnosis. I am struggling and stressed more than ever
I feel terrible I have not noticed signs before this, since deep diving researching about autism after first was diagnosed I feel so stupid and neglectful that I haven't picked this up.
In my opinion they seem completely different (they do call it a spectrum) my reasoning was after seeing the criteria I didn't believe my second fit it to begin with definitely not enough to get diagnosis just a few sensory issues a few years ago but now things are so bad
My theory is he has a PDA profile. Everyday is so hard, they both clash constantly and it's a nightmare every waking moment and I'm getting further into a depression just being awake.
All the strategies I was made aware of for my first don't work and don't apply for my youngest. Over the past year he has been getting bad tantrums/meltdowns over the smallest of things. No reasoning and no learning. They play on games together and my youngest ends up in a rage and crying because oldest is beating him. My oldest speech is 70% echolalia he will repeat phrases constantly and noises when he repeats my youngest he gets so irritated to the point where he cries and starts hitting himself, my eldest literally can't help it, I can't punish him for his echolalia and stims.
It's a constant battle of ' but he started it' and he still doesn't understand that my eldest isn't doing it to annoy him or anyone.
Nothing is enjoyable or fun because anything we do or play ends up in disaster, we were colouring in the other day cause I thought surely this will be ok but no he ends up ripping it up because he was going outside the lines. We played with the magnetic blocks and I made a car and he couldn't and he ended up in tears because of that and wouldn't let me teach him, wouldn't even acknowledge the instruction book that came with it.
I have all the sympathy for him but having this all day is so so draining especially after the battles with my first ( the first 5 or so years was HARD)
He has constant complaints of being lonely but it seems he doesn't feel included unless he is centre of attention, he's never left out of anything but he doesn't get involved in anything either himself unless it is all about him. Anytime he's told it's time to stop doing an activity or anytime he's told off in the slightest he will kick off saying no one loves him and why does he always get blamed even when he's done something wrong and he knows it.
They are now both homeschooled and I don't even wanna take them out anymore because I just don't have the energy plus my eldest runs away when overwhelmed --much of the time my youngest is the one to trigger him
I know they are both individually missing out massively and they are both unhappy but I don't even know what to do it seems like I'm going to have to keep them separate a lot of the time but I don't want to have to do that.
This is basically just a space to put all this because I am just exhausted but if anyone has any advice I will be greatful. Thank you.