Asd hard to discipline 5yo

[bringon2024]

So my almost 6yo boy has autism. He is delayed most areas and deffo speech by about 2 years. So he talks like a 3 year old who's muddling along well but needs to say more sentences etc

Every time he gets told off he gets really upset and cries so badly it's like we are traumatising him. We don't tell him off for no reason, it's when he's naughty etc.

Just wondered are any other kids out there similar with their emotions when getting told off

Also
On the matter of autism, we live in London, just wondered what is the general age for all kids to need a bus pass or travel card and if he needs it now, would he qualify for a freedom pass or similar as autism is classed as a disability

Thanks in advance

With my ds who is 9yo and autistic, if we tell him off he says it feels like we hate him and don’t love him. Of course we don’t mean that but to him it’s real.

It sounds like you need to change your approach. Have you read Becky Kennedy’s Good Inside book? There are other positive parenting books but this one is very good.

As you say, he’s delayed and this means that he is emotional delayed too. Don’t expect him to have skills that he doesn’t yet have, i.e. that a typical 6yo might.

@openupmyeagereyes is right about changing your approach.

Have a look at PDA strategies - some find Yvonne Newbold’s resources helpful. Also, Ross Greene’s book The Explosive Child.

When he is naughty or when the behaviour is related to his disability? The approach needs to be different for both. His disability isn’t ’an excuse’ (like some try to say parents use it as) but it is an explanation and needs handling differently.

DC in London can get free bus travel. Autism doesn’t automatically entitle someone to a disability bus pass. You should check your council website as the eligibility criteria vary area to area.

Thanks guys

On the matter of autism, we live in London, just wondered what is the general age for all kids to need a bus pass or travel card and if he needs it now, would he qualify for a freedom pass or similar as autism is classed as a disability

I'm not in London but just wondered if you've applied for DLA?

@PinkMimosa yea we already receive DLA for him

You can get a Zip Oyster card for your son via the TfL website. That will give free travel.
suspect my DC has autism and he becomes hysterical when told off - even raising your voice slightly and he becomes a crying mess. It’s the kind of response you’d expect of someone has been really verbally abused. Then he wants an apology because we made him cry. He just can’t seem to grasp why we may calmly tell him - don’t do X please.
He’s also started to hit himself when he does something wrong too.
Ive no answers - but I try to keep calm (hard) and talk to him about any bad behaviours another time when he’s calm. Hoping phase will pass.

@Farmhouse1234 does he need a zip oyster at age 5? I read kids go free until 11

Children under 11 don’t need a Zip Oyster card for the bus. It won’t apply to 5 year olds, but if they look older than 10 one might be needed to prove eligibility.