Hi there, sorry if there's already similar threads but thought I'd pick the brains of the fabulous ladies on here.
My ds is 4 and a twin, and I also have a 6yo and a 5mo, so obviously I'm quite busy. It was obvious about 12 months ago that ds was more than usually behind with his speech (before then I'd put it down to he was the quiet, mischevious twin, and his brother was the constant chatty and attention seeking one), but we were about to move house so I put off getting him assessed. Anyway, the move took months and months and then we had a new baby so not surprisingly, he didn't progress much in the meantime. His new pre-school has been good at trying to get the support he needs, but the waiting list in this area is 43 weeks (!!!!) for speech therapy, but which time he will have started school. He has just started being observed for a session a week at pre-school by a SENCO type person, but I hate all the waiting for a diagnosis of any kind - I just want to help him get on the right track!
So, he doesn't talk much, and when he tries we often can't understand what he says. If he is tired or grumpy he will revert to gesturing or pulling us to see whatever he wants to show us. He flips out quite regularly and can still have (thankfully short) tantrums like a 2yo. He hates sitting and doing what everyone else is doing and always kicks against the expected behaviour at pre-school, ie going to play when everyone is listening to a story, or reading a story when he's supposed to be painting. I don't think it can be ADHD because he can sit still for ages when he's absorbed in something - a favourite book, building with lego, TV, etc. He's bright and observant, and will work things out for himself and copy what he sees adults doing, and because he tends to ignore rules (which his brothers observe no problem) I often catch him trying to make his own breakfast, etc. He's very affectionate but very independant, and always wants everything on his terms. Some days are fine and he goes along with what his brothers do (although I do feel I'm less strict with him than the others because I want to avoid the inevitable explosions), other days every little thing (getting in the car, making him sit at the table) is hard work.
DH thinks he's just frustrated because of his delayed speech, and awkward because he wants to be but I want to make sure we're not missing something. He doesn't seem to 'fit' any of the labels iyswim.
Can anyone identify?