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Struggling to cope with autistic toddler and getting out the house

8 replies

Listen2YourMother · 20/12/2023 11:54

Hi, my son is autistic and 3, I also have a 1 year old baby girl.

I struggle to get the kids out the house to do literally anything. I’m depressed and have no motivation, no partner to help and no family or friends.

My son has meltdowns everytime we go anywhere but I’m sick of being cooped in the house everyday, I feel guilty like a bad mom

He has ear defenders but doesn’t wear them. He has no sense of danger and just runs off everywhere, if we use reins or a wrist link he screams because he can’t run off. Just sick to death of having no life.

any tips?

OP posts:
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SalmonWellington · 20/12/2023 12:14

Do you get DLA for him? Money helps with everything. On similar vein, do you have a motability car?

Is there a local SEN group? (They're usually on facebook). They might run disability friendly safe sessions, or have recs for places.

Can you identify what the triggers for meltdowns are? Is it just being out, or is it rain, or noise, or....

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Listen2YourMother · 20/12/2023 12:59

Hi, we are waiting for a decision on a DLA application so not sure if we will get it but fingers crossed!

He has PDA autism I think, anytime he has expectations put on him he will just refuse and essentially tantrum x1000

The triggers are usually caused because he wants to be out the pram but won’t follow directions when out the pram so he will scream if you try to stop him from running away or going a direction he doesn’t want to go in

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KeepGoingThomas · 20/12/2023 13:24

I would continue to use the double buggy to keep DS safe.

It is worth seeing if Home Start can support you. And if you haven’t already, requesting social care assessments.

Does DS have an EHCP? Has he had a sensory OT assessment? If he can’t wear ear defenders would he wear noise cancelling headphones? Some find sunglasses and a big hood help.

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MintyfreshSW · 25/12/2023 06:37

Merry Christmas OP.

My DD has different traits but we suffer the same - feeling trapped indoors.

finding local Sen sessions was a saviour for us. Our favourite is one with gymnastic equipment and a bouncy castle in a huge sports hall. They have staff at the door so kids can’t elope. There’s no judgement at all - it’s such a break for parents who can just sit having a cup of tea while the kids burn energy. Check hour local fb groups! X

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Holly03 · 25/12/2023 20:45

My dd is the same we all end up housebound during the holidays- I have an older child with asd and adhd and everyone presumes he is the cause of my stress- oh no it's her. Christmas has been a nightmare and if she isn't kicking off out of the house her sensory issues hit a real high point in the house when she floods the kitchen and bathroom running the water. Yes I've removed plugs and considered turning the water off as well as getting a catheter as clearly she can't even be left so I can go to the toilet. I've dealt with the fact that although it's depressing being in the house, going out of it is more depressing and stressful. Do you have a diagnosis as I'm debating about applying for dla for my daughter but she has no formal diagnosis yet

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SalmonWellington · 25/12/2023 22:24

You don't need a diagnosis to get DLA.

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KeepGoingThomas · 26/12/2023 11:53

@Holly03 have you considered tap locks or even locks on the kitchen and bathroom(s)?

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Crazyhousewife23 · 26/12/2023 18:40

Yes I have just searched Amazon these are a thing, I would definitely recommend them as I wasn’t even sure you could get these @Holly03 . Also have the same issues with my toddler. Amazon seem to love my deliveries for child proofing

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