impact of alcohol

[paranoid2]

My Ds is likely to be diagosed with ADD and dyspraxia. I have been researching causes etc and am getting myself into a state about the fact that i drank when i didnt know I was pregnant. I found out i was pregnant pretty much the day that my period was due and only had a small glass of wine with my dinner once or twice a week after that. I am worried about the 2 weeks between conception and finding out that i was pregnant when I was on hols and drank lots. I have been reading all sorts and driving myself mad with worry about the development of the central nervous system in the first few weeks and the problems that alcohol can cause. There is no history of ADD or dyspraxia in either family so there is no genetic link. I know that I am rambling and that lots of children have these things for no reason but am worried sick

Paranoid2, any mother who discovers that her child has special needs is likely to go over and over again asking "what what went wrong?" and blame herself.
I'm in a similar situation in that I have a child with hemiplegia and I used to anguish if an after work binge I had before I discovered I was pregnant caused the problem. (I was told by a specialist that this was unlikely)
The fact is the past is the past. We cannot change it. Try instead to learn as much about your child's condition and what you can do to help. You sound a caring mother. Focus on the positives. Take one day at a time. Good luck.

paranoid2, I sympathise.

DS is possibly ASD or AS.

I drank and smoked weed for the first 5 weeks because I had NO IDEA that I was pregnant.

We weren't TTC and we were using protection.

I do worry that I caused DS's probs, but I wasn't irresponsible. I had no reason to think that I might be pg. Neither did you !!??

I know a lady (friend of a friend) who smoked heavily and drank throughout all 4 of her pregnancies. All the babies were born early and were low birth weight, but none have any probs now they are older.

It's quite unlikely that your drinking on holiday had much of an impact, IMO.

Hi paranoid,

As Villete says there is no point beating yourself up.

Maybe look at it the other way round, if you had not been off on a jolly, you would not have been chasing him round and round the bedroom maybe you would have not ended up pregnant and not had the lovely child you have today.

around 50% of PGs are unplanned - so mums will have done all sorts of things before that blue line on the test - I drank, lifted weights at gym and had a dental x-ray amongst others - the odd glass of wine whilst unaware is going to be so common that it just wouldn't cause something relatively unusual like ADD/dyspraxia.

My theory is that these are all genetic conditions, but because they vary in intensity you can't always point to a relative. I bet you will eventually find someone in the family who is undiagnosed but who has similar symptoms. We all drank in the early days of preg - let's face it, that's how most of us got preg! But I drank more with my DD (not SEN) than with my DS (autistic) so there's no use beating yourself up about it. I'm no expert, but I think the only condition they have proved irrevocably to be linked to drinking in preg is Foetal Alcohol Syndrome - which is very very very different from ADD and is also only when the mum has drunk a litre of vodka a day for every day of the 9months! Don't beat yourself up paranoid. Big hugs!

Lets remember too that going back a few hundred years many British people only ever drank beer.

Water was simply unsafe to drink.

There was not widespread ADD or whatever it would have been called then.

Neither was there widespread FAS.

In fact thinking back closer than that, 30 years back there were not wholesale condemnations of drinking and smoking in pregnancy as there is today.