School answering questionnaire but mainly has issues at home

[Coffeesnob11]

I have adhd. My ds is 5. I suspect his df (not in our lives has autism) and 7 or the cousins have autism.
I suspect my son is nuerodiverse and went to the doctor to start the process of getting him diagnosed. The local child development centre has sent the school a questionnaire. The trouble is he is a very polite obedient child and he has all his meltdowns at home. Revventky he has been shouting out he is a horrible person and is useless. He is a perfectionist and sometimes cries if things aren't just so when we leave the house. He thinks is is the worst at everything. Homework is a particular source of street for him and school has seen the videos of him being so upset.
His teacher gives off strong neurodiversity vibes and just think he's cute when he sings in class and shakes with excitement. I only just found out he has been welling up woth tears wverytime he doesn't get something right. I suspect the answers they give will make him sound lovely and bright and I am waiting ro be told he is fine. Does anyone have any advice so that they see he holds it in until he gets home.

Try not to worry, DC who mask can still be diagnosed and the CDC will be used to DC who mask at school. However, it sounds like DS is showing signs at school. They just aren’t being g recognised for what they are. How you spoken to the SENCO?

We've just had an initial appointment at the Children's Development Centre. In preparation for the application, the SENDCo asked the classroom teacher and DH and I to write about his strengths and challenges. We did this on a Word document and the SENDCo included it in their application - I know because they also gave us all the paperwork to look over in advance and I also saw it printed in the paediatrician's folder. We also asked his theatre teacher who has known him for over a year to include some information.

Ours was school-led, but the Community Paediatric team will want as full a picture as possible and they will understand that your DC may present differently in different environments. I would get in touch with them and ask them how to provide the information about home.

Good luck!

Sorry - I forgot to say that you should ask to speak with the classroom teacher first about the questionnaire, but if they are dismissive then I would ask for an appointment with the SENDCo. I work in a primary school and this would be the best route to take. You would then also be able to tell the SENDCo that you are worried about the teacher not recognising your DC's challenges.

I would speak directly to the SENCO now. Not just about the questionnaire but about support in school now. OP has obviously already tried to discuss DS’s needs with the class teacher and been brushed off.

The problem I have is it's a tiny school. There are only 3 class teachers and his teacher is the sendco. She tells me all the time she has autistic grandchildren and believes me.

Just to add its a state primary but a village school so under 7t kids in the whole school

In that case I would speak to the HT (if they aren’t also the HT).

If the class teacher believes you why is she not making adjustments and providing support?

Following I’m in the same position