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What to do? Toilet training reward issue

3 replies

foulksmills · 07/12/2023 08:17

My son is seven years old, he's autistic, and we are currently embroiled in toilet training. On Tuesday we had a huge step forward when he went into school without a nappy. A big fuss was made, and a little present given to him when he came home from school.

Yesterday he went into school with a nappy on. When he got home he was upset not to recieve a present.

This morning he has again gone into school with no nappy and he has already asked about a present. He has asked for something specific. The thing he's asked for is one of his Christmas presents. I don't mind getting him a small present and I want to encourage him to ditch the nappy as much as possible but a present as big as the one he's looking for is too big. If I gave him that he wouldn't have it for Christmas plus I can't keep up with this level of gifts. On this trajectory he'll be asking for a trip to Disneyland by the end of next week!

I wish I hadn't given him a present on Tuesday now but I wanted to steer away from a "food (sweets) = reward" message.

What can I do? I want to encourage him but I can't give him his Christmas present. I thought about maybe distracting him by taking him out somewhere as a 'reward' but a) he's expecting a 'present' and b) that might start a new impossible precedent.

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BlueBrick · 07/12/2023 11:10

I would give a small present as a reward. There may be a meltdown tonight, but I wouldn’t give the Christmas present because that will be setting a precedent you won’t be able to maintain.

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foulksmills · 07/12/2023 11:18

Absolutely. The Christmas present is out of the question.

Thank you for replying. There are so few people to talk to who understand the added difficulty of explaining things to an autistic child.

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openupmyeagereyes · 07/12/2023 12:02

You could get a multipack of little figures from a programme or game that he enjoys and give him one each day. It’s the Christmas holidays soon so hopefully that will be enough time to break the present habit before he goes back.

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