My brain damaged child is wonderful and the centre of my family

[needmorecoffee]

and fits in with my lifestyle.
Just thought we needed an opposing view to the current one that its all a terrible disaster that destroys the siblings.
I'm not saying it isn't hard - all children are hard. My edlest NT daughter was incredibly hard as a baby, cried constantly, as a toddler she destroyed her room, hurt her brothers and couldn't be taken places as she was a whirlwind.
So both my daughters were hard work but in different ways and I wouldn't be without either of them.
I can't begin to list the things dd2 has taught me and the people I have met. Before I had her I had never met a real disabled person (even though ds1 has Aspergers and I have MS) and had seen women pushing outsize buggies and thought 'I'd never cope'
But you do cope. dd2 screamed for 2 years and the doctors said she would never know who we are and would be a vegetable. They were so wrong. She is bright, funny, gorgeous and a huge part of our family. Her brothers adore her and have learned that 'different' does not mean 'less human' or 'wrong'.

thestands - I agree. My boys have learned so much, mainly how to accept people as they are. Unfortunately eldest dd listenend to MIL. MIL said we should have dd adopted so we could have a 'proper baby' and says within dd's hearing that if she became disabled life wouldn't be worth living and she'd want to die (I'm quite happy to shove her off a cliff...)
She said this while I was sitting inmy wheelchair with dd on my lap. She rejected dd for 3 years until an Ed Psych said that dd had 'normal' intelligence. Now she'll look at her and touch her sometimes. grrrrrrrrrrr
But eldest listenend to all this and lives elsewhere and found disability embaressing.

Yes mine too. (Read the first OP).

He's changed my life enormously and for the better. And his brother's benefit from seeing a side of life they never would, from understanding about how families stick together even when things are difficult, from understanding that you don't have to be 'perfect' high achieving or wealthy (one for Xenia there) to have value and be important.

This is so true and so timely!

The first year of DD2s life I felt so bleak and wondered how life could ever be "normal" again. There was so much despair and darkness. But you know we now have so much love and laughter in our lives.

DD2 has enriched our lives in so many ways, and the lives of others too. She has taught us all that life is precious and precarious, and should be valued. That it doesn't matter when developmental milestones are reached, each achievement is remarkable and to be celebrated.

She may not be able to talk, or climb or run, or feed herself without a huge mess, or dress herself, but it doesn't matter. She can give the biggest squeezy cuddles and her smile lights up a room. She adores her sisters and they adore her, and she loves to read books, paint and jiggle to music.

Yes the future is going to be difficult and there are dark days but my daughter is so special and so loved, and is just that - my child.

Come on NMC get the word processor out!!

Then you could pay someone to push MIL off the cliff!!!

Only joking honest.

It must be very hard having someone with such closed views in your extended family.

NMC have just read your earlier post about your DD - she sounds such a great character. I have this picture of your family having a lot of fun and laughs! (Though I'm sure you have your off days and grizzly kids too at times as we all do!}

I dread to think what I would be if I hadn't been blessed with my SN child thirteen years ago, and had the breakdown I did when he was 15 months old. I did break down and had to build myself again, a process that took about three years.
But the person I am now is so much MORE than I would otherwise have been.
I would go through a dozen ds than have to deal with another dd and I've only had the pleasure of her company six years so far. I confess I find it harder to deal with my NT dd than my SN ds although he does have a teenage gob on him at the moment!