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Neighbour complaint

2 replies

Hotchocolate2023 · 02/12/2023 10:34

I have a 9Yo and a 7YO, both diagnosed autistic and adhd. Mornings with the 9YO are really really difficult and can be big meltdowns.

I'm conscious she's noisy and they are laid meltdowns so I don't wake her until 7am, she then has her tablet until 8am which keeps her a lot calmer and then usually 8am - 8.25am is the volatile bit. Last week there were 2 days this didnt work and we had meltdowns from 7am-8.30am but shes been poorly and that often makes things worse. My DS isn't as meltdown prone but can screech, which is ear piercing and hideous but generally not an issue in the mornings. They aren't allowed upstairs in the mornings as I'm conscious of neighbours sleeping (mid-terrace) so they both get changed in the lounge. This has been routine for the last 2 years without issue.

About 8 weeks ago neighbour got a job that means he leaves at 8.15am and I assume means he is up now at the same time as us and all of a sudden we are getting lots of complaints. He says his house is silent in the mornings and he can't stand the sound of the screaming. He's threatening to make reports to the police and council and constantly knocking on my door.

I don't really know what to do, we had something that worked well for us to mitigate any potential issue but I can't change the fact they have to get ready for school and school is without doubt the most stressful time of the day.

I don't know how concerned to be? Could we be kicked out?

The irony of it all is they play music late and smoke so much weed I can't have my windows open. Weekends I deliberately leave the meltdown prone one in bed until 9am and 7YO gets his tablet all morning. Is there anything else I would be expected to do?

OP posts:
Hotchocolate2023 · 02/12/2023 10:37

I should also add that after school things are much much quieter unless a particularly horrendous day at school which happens maybe once a fortnight.

OP posts:
BlueBrick · 02/12/2023 11:05

There are 2 issues in my mind.

  1. Your neighbour can’t expect a silent house 7-8.15am when he lives in a terrace house. That is unreasonable. Ignore him.
  2. I would be looking at ways to reduce the number of meltdowns and ways to help DC regulate. Not for your neighbour, but for your children. If the meltdowns/screaming/screeching are happening because of school, then what support is the school providing? Do DC have EHCPs? If school life was easier, home life would likely improve too. Have DC had OT assessments? Do you have sensory toys/trampoline etc. that can help DC regulate?
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