Has anyone else been here? Feeling isolated

[Popcornlassie28]

Hi,
I have two beautiful children, one who is diagnosed with ASD and ADHD and the other I am going through the process at the moment of a diagnosis.

I am feeling so isolated and overwhelmed lately and really beating myself up. My oldest is really struggling with school refusal and hates school in general and meltdowns after school everyday.

My DC is in a mainstream school and I just feel she’s left out a lot by the other children in terms of social events and she doesn’t seem to have friends she just floats with the boys. I don’t know whether to be open about her SEN needs or keep it quiet as I’m scared for people to know incase she is isolated more.

My youngest isn’t school age yet but is non-verbal.

I just feel way over my head. I have even thought about homeschooling my oldest but that option terrifies me.

Has anyone else struggled and felt alone in this? I feel like I’m drowning with no support.

Is there a SEN group locally where you could meet other parents who have DC with additional needs?

What support is DC1 receiving? Do they have an EHCP? If not, you should request an EHCNA. If they already have one, you should request an early review.

Don’t EHE unless you actually want to. Parents often find it easier, although not easy, to get support when DC remain in the system. Crudely, at the moment you are someone’s ‘problem’. If you EHE, it is easier for others to sweep DC’s needs under the carpet. However, if DC can’t attend school, the LA has a duty to ensure they receive a suitable, full-time education. And, if school is inappropriate, you can look at EOTAS via an EHCP.

Have you tried any extra curricular activities outside of school?

What support is DC2 receiving? Do they attend nursery? Have you looked at an EHCP for them?

It is worth contacting Home Start to see whether they can support you. And, Scope offer mentoring to parents DC recently diagnosed or on the assessment pathway.

Feel free to join the Goose and Carrot pub thread on SN Chat if you want. There are several us with DC with additional needs on there chatting about daily life.

Yes and I would not recommend home education if you already feel isolated. I had to do it and honestly I felt like I was failing my child trying to put them in activities and be a school at home. My child wouldn’t do school work at home and ending up refusing despite me bringing in tutors they couldn’t differentiate the two in the home environment. Also have a younger child who’s non verbal and looking at going through a diagnosis myself. I’ve found it’s so much harder to try and juggle it all. I would talk to your daughter as she may want to keep it quiet and prefer the smaller crowd of boys, this may be where she feels more comfortable being herself as girls as very judgemental. Have you looked at social groups outside of school for her. Ask your local authority what is available in your area. Maybe look at carers groups for yourself too as a little bit of social life for you.