ADHD in girls?

[PenelopeChipShop]

I’m just wondering if anyone (perhaps with a girl who is now grown up or a teen) has any experience in identifying ADHD or perhaps ADD. (I also still think there’s a chance she’s dyslexic instead but haven’t had any tests yet).

my DD is 7 and in year 3. She is clearly in the age group that has had very disrupted schooling due to covid and for context, I split from her dad when she was a baby and, although she’s always had contact with him, he has had 3 homes and 2 partners in her life, so she has had a lot to adapt to on a personal level going between us EOW, etc. she is with me the vast majority of the time though.

She is just very behind in reading and maths and I sense almost a sort of ‘blockage’ or something that’s coming between her and learning. She’s quite ‘away with the fairies’ and is very imaginative but struggles to focus - I know she’s young but I think this seems to be to the point of a much younger child. She can’t sit still at dinner either. She’s only still if she’s watching her iPad, on which it will be stories about fairies, over and over again. She is very mindful and asks intelligent questions about the moon, planets, earth etc which I don’t know the answers to 😂 but cannot concentrate to learn the basics. Her teachers just shrug and say she isn’t very academic, they can’t ‘diagnose’ dyslexia and if I want I test her it’s £500 and won’t make a difference anyway to what they can do.

Two other people who know her well (one a teacher, tho not her teacher) have mentioned they think ADD is possible as she seems bright but can’t focus.

What is the starting point for even finding this out? GP? She’s too old for a health visitor now, but i would feel a bit ridiculous making a doctor apt to say ‘my dd isn’t doing very well in school’!

She has a tutor now and I’m working through ‘Toe by Toe’ with her at home and am seeing some progress from it I think. She also seems a bit clueless about friendships and plays on her own a lot. I’m just worried about her and worroed I’m failing her at times.

In some areas, you can self refer. If you can’t, the GP or school will be able to. If the route in your area is via the GP, you shouldn’t feel ridiculous for making an appointment to discuss an ADHD referral.

Support in schools is based on needs, not diagnosis, so the school should be providing support now, are they?

I wouldn’t say the school is providing any specific support beyond what they usually do ie. They split the class into small groups so those who struggle with reading do extra phonics etc. I believe she’s receiving ‘intervention’ in the form of a TA going over year 1 exception words with her. I think that’s it. I’m now paying for a tutor who has confirmed she’s very behind but also tells me she’s bright and works hard. So I don’t get why she is so behind. Maths is probably even worse than English, she still counts on her fingers to add and subtract numbers below 10, for example. Numbers larger than 10 she doenst seem to understand how to do it. I’m trying to teach her number lines but progress is slow.

I have an older child and never had to do any of this with him, he just seemed to pick up what he needed at school. Of course we played games, counted, and we always have and still do read a lot at home, but nothing really beyond that. I’m struggling to communicate to my daughter in a way she understands I think and so is everyone else!

Have you spoken to the SENCO? The school should be providing support.

There isn’t one at the moment. There was but she went on maternity leave and the SENCO aspect of her role wasn’t replaced. I did mention my concerns to the class teacher at parents eve but she just said she wasn’t qualified to talk about dyslexia and if I wanted her tested it’s expensive.

Even if the SENCO role is vacant or there isn’t maternity cover there will still be someone responsible for SEN. Speak to the headteacher.