Worried about 22 month old development

[Nortam]

Just a bit of back ground. Ds is my youngest of 4. Dc2 (10yo) has ADHD and Autistic.

These are some things I'm concerned about. I'll just bullet point....

• Doesn't say any words. Does make a roar noise for all animals though.

-very limited understanding. Understands the word drink. Wouldn't have a clue what I meant if I said something like 'wheres daddy/the cat/toy' ect -Responds to his name maybe 10% of the time. This is very recent though. -has recently started pointing if he wants something. He doesn't 'wave' but he does open and close his fingers with his hand by his side if that makes sense? That seems to be his version of waving -only ever plays with cars/vehicles. He likes pushing them along the floor, lining them up and spinning the wheels. Will happily play by himself for ages. He does love running around the house following his siblings too. -freaks out whenever we go anywhere. Went to a Christmas event the other night and it took him an hour to be calm enough to get down and walk around. Same at soft play ect.

-not sure where to start with food. He barely eats anything. He doesn't like cold food. He won't eat anything like fruit. He hates touching food. The only foods he will touch are dry/room temperature eg cracker/breadstick. Even then, he will hold it between his thumb and finger to try and touch it as little as possible. I have to feed him 95% of the time. If he has a sandwich I have to pick bits off and put them in his mouth for him. Weaning was very hard. He used to feed himself certain foods with a spoon eg shedpards pie/stew ect but won't do that anymore. He never put toys in his mouth as a baby. Still doesn't.

-i think part of the reason he won't eat anymore at dinner time is because it's busy and he gets overwhelmed. Without fail he will start screaming and crying and clinging to me when everyone's coming and going in and out of the kitchen, getting ready to eat dinner.
-wouod breastfeed 24/7 if I let him

-sleep. Again, not sure where to start. Can't put him to bed. He will only sleep if he's asleep on my arm. I could stay with him for an hour making sure he's asleep but he would wake up within 10 minutes of me getting out of bed. So he goes to bed when I do. He wakes up 10+ times a night.

There's loads of other things I could list. He's been referred to speech and language and a pre school special need service but just wondering what others though? Does this sound like autism or a learning disability? My older autistic son wasn't anything like this as a toddler.

Thanks for reading if you've made it this far. I'd welcome any thoughts.

Anyone?

It is brilliant referrals have already been made. Could you also look at referrals to OT and a paediatrician? For the food difficult, have you looked at ARFID?

It isn’t possible for anyone here to say whether DS has a learning disability, autism, both, or neither. It is unlikely a HCP would give a LD diagnosis yet either - it tends to be global developmental delay for young DC.

Yes I'm really lucky to have had a fantastic health visitor. She's retiring soon though which I'm so sad about!

I know no one can diagnose here, I think I just need to talk about it with someone. I feel like we've got a tough road ahead and the unknown is worrying me as I know there's something wrong but I don't know what and so there's nothing I can do to help him yet. I hope that makes sense?

Life is very tough with my older DC and he wasn't as developmentally delayed as DS so I worry his needs are going to be even greater. I'm not explaining myself very well.

The unknown is hard.

The majority of support is based on needs rather than diagnosis, so you/others can start to support DS’s additional needs before a diagnosis, whatever that diagnosis may turn out to be. For example, special schools in some areas run play groups that can be good to attend as professionals sometimes attend too. Have you got any sensory equipment/toys? Parts of this booklet may be helpful. You could try ear defenders and eating separately to see whether the busy dinner times are causing DS to not eat. Home Start may be able to support you.

If you haven’t already, apply for DLA. 2 year olds in receipt of DLA are entitled to nursery funding.

Do you have support with/for your older DC?

Thank you for reminding me it's needs based rather than diagnosis. I did know this but needed reminding. I think I've just been so stressed these last few weeks that I'm forgetting all the basics! I think it's because we've gone through all the diagnosis, working out what works for older DC, got into his routine, ehcp process ect ect that it's all second nature now. But younger ds, I still need to work out what works for him and what he needs. Hope that makes sense! Again, I'm not explaining very well but in my head you've helped, so thank you!

He is sensory avoidant rather than sensory seeking so I don't have any sensory toys. In that way he is similar to my older DC! I do have eat defenders but he absolutely won't wear those. At least we have them in case he needs them in the future.

My older DC is very well supported. He is in a sen school and is trialing medication for his ADHD. He also gets dla. It's funny because the last 4 years have been very difficult with him but I finally feel that he is settled, happy and doing well at school and now younger ds's needs are getting greater every day.

Sorry for another rambling post. Like I said, it helps just to write it all down and put my thoughts into words. You're replies have helped me too so thank you!