Teachers ignoring ASD DD

[Peaceofmind89]

My Dd is 5, diagnosed with autism and recently started reception (mainstream)

DD has had some difficulties settling in, classrooms are too noisy, little boy also with SEN pulling her hair (he now has a one to one but still will lash out at times) which DD cannot understand why it keeps happening.

She has now become very fixated on the thought of losing her water bottle and always wanting it close to her and not wanting it outside (it isn’t just a particular water bottle though it’s any bottle that goes to school with her). To the point that all weekend she has been asked me about her bottle and not wanting to lose it, waking up several times in the middle of the night over the bottle. I’ve already spoken to the senco about this and she is going to look into it but this morning when speaking to my DD teacher she told me that she just ignored DD for 5mins on Friday and DD stopped. Well DD may have stopped showing distress and appeared to be ok but the fact she has been so upset over it it’s clear it’s giving her anxiety.. and to ignore a child. Just let her have the water bottle with her. Other children in higher years have teddies with them all day, just let my girl have her water bottle if it what keeps her calm.

Not sure what I’m looking for, maybe just to vent or to get opinions on whether or not it’s unreasonable to just think she isn’t being naughty so let her keep the Damn bottle. Also commented about me carrying dd around to class, she flat out refuses to walk to class.. so i either carry her or we would just never get to class.. that simple face palm

Speak to the SENCO again.

Does DD use ear defenders or noise cancelling headphones?

Can DD communicate why she is anxious about losing the bottle? Water bottles are slightly different to teddies in that the can be and are spilt and that can ruin work/cause more issues etc. What type of bottle is DD taking?

Focusing more widely, what other support is the school providing. The water bottle is the tip of the iceberg and supporting some of the other difficulties may reduce DD’s anxiety about the water bottle.

She does have noise cancelling headphones in school but won’t often go to get them.

All dd says is that it’s because she doesn’t want it getting lost, I’ll reassure her etc but she just has it in her mind it’ll get lost. And the issue seems to be around the bottle going outside, DD was happy for the bottle to stay on her teachers desk but if it’s moved the there worries that it’ll get lost.

As for the other difficulties, dd does have the headphones but won’t put them on she has to be reminded (I’ve told school this). The little boy with SEN now has a one to one but I do know he has hit DD since getting 121. DD is also afraid to go toilet but senco is looking into this for me as DD is fine doing this at home and was fine at nursery too. She does also refuse to drink in school but again senco looking to an adjustment for this

Can you dig deeper into why DD thinks the bottle will get lost and why she is anxious about that in particular?

Other support that may help:
Dropping off and picking up 5/10 mins early/late from a quieter entrance.
Do they offer anything like nurture group, drawing and talking, emotional literacy support, sensory circuits?
Can the noise cancelling headphones stay with DD so she doesn’t have to go to get them and can be prompted more easily to put them on?
Using the disabled toilet.

My guess is that lots of kids are losing water bottles and someone is saying or has said something like 'Keep an eye on your water bottles because we don't want them going missing'.

Having the bottle on teachers' desk seems like a very reasonable reasonable adjustment.

I’ve tried to talk about it with her to find out what has happened, but she can’t. I’ll try again today.

I was going to request dropping her off at reception instead of her class.
They do offer sensory circuits.
The headphones I’ll see if they can be kept with her.
As for the toilets, even the disabled one seems to be an issue.

thank you so much for the suggestions @BlueBrick

Not from personal experience, but I’m sure I’ve seen in shops, water bottles on a shoulder strap. Would that work?

Send her in with her bottle in one of these. Ask the SENCO to tell the teacher that she is allowed to wear it as long as she doesn't fiddle with it thus distracting herself or others, and takes it off for P.E.
Chutoral 2 Pcs Water Bottle Carrier Bag, Mesh Water Bottle Pouch Water Bottle Holder with Adjustable Strap Nylon Water Bottle Sling Outdoor Accessories for Walking Hiking Travelling Camping : Amazon.co.uk: Sports & Outdoors