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22 months old asd or is ot my anxiety?

12 replies

ItalianMUM89 · 13/11/2023 09:21

Hello! I have some concerns about my DS (22months) showing ASD singns but since I am suffering of strong postpartum anxiety i would like to hear what you think about it.
My main concern is about his functional language and interaction with peers.
I did a list of things he does and doesn't do.
-he understands language good. He can follow directions (novel ones and 2 step related directions as well). But will not always be in the mood of doing it.

  • he speaks a lot. Many many single words and some 2/3 word sentences. But he speaks almost too much. Constantly speaking while playing and also reapting stuff he has heard from us. Like when he plays with a giraffe he will always say the giraffe, long body, eats leafs while pretending that the giraffe is eating from a tree. Something we have told him when we were at the zoo. He understands what he says anyway.
  • he does a lot of pretended play, like making toys sleep, eat etc.
  • He can answer where /what and who questions well. He can also answer questions like what is the baby doing?
-He can answer choice questions (x or y) also without visual imput but has difficulty with yes/no questions. If it is no he ignores me if it is yes he just repeats the last word. (Head nodding/shaking happens very rarely and he must be very motivated to do it).
  • he has some echolia and reverses pronouns (I don't know how much it is normal at 22 months).
  • He does make good eye contact and responds to his name (since 7 months) when at home but if he is outside or in a new environment he will just wander around wanting to play with everything completely ignoring you.
  • when outside he will wanders a lot but knows that when we are on roads he needs to hold my hand. At home he looks often for me telling me mummy come, mummy play.
-he points to share and request from early on (request is gone down since he asks verbally). He looks at me on the eyes while ponting for sharing.
  • he used to bring me a lot of stuff to share, now it has reduced but he still does it whit new people.
-when we are with other kids he can be either too affectionate (hugging them to much at the point of scaring them) or he can also ignore them. Especially he ignores them more if we are at their place and he can play with all their new toys. He might speand a lot of time in the corner just playing with the new toys ignoring people. When we have kids guest at our home he is more interactive. However, he seems excited to see other kids and knows the name of all his peers at the nursery. When we have adults guests he wants to be always at the center of the attentions. -he is almost too good with puzzles and towers. He also knows all colors and many shapes.
  • he has no problems with changing of routines, eating or sleeping (execpet for day naps).
  • however, he has some fixations like needing to play always with the same pair of toys (eg giraffe and zebra) and this is according to the order we bought them.
-he started to have tantrums since some weeks but mainly when overtired. But these can be very strong with him crying a lot and asking for me.
  • he does have some stimming beahvoiurs like hand posturing and visual stimms.
  • sometimes he will turn upside down his car to paly with wheels telling me mummy look wheels are turning.
-he asks some questions like. Who/what is it (often only gestually by holding the object to me and pointing to it but sometimes also verbally).
  • he zones out/daydrams a lot. I thought he was not listening to me while this but since he speaks I discovered he is actually listening also in this moments.

Sorry the post became very very long but I wanted to say everything. I love my little one and wouldn't change him for nothing but I see that he is a bit different from other peers especially he is very independent and can ignore me a lot in some moments.

OP posts:
ItalianMUM89 · 13/11/2023 09:52

I just want to add few things.
-He used to bite but not out of frustration but rather when overexited. This has almost gone since a while. However he has moments where he still feels the need of biting and uses a biting ring.

  • as a baby he lived swings but now he wants to go on it but as soon as it goes a bit faster he will get scared and asks me to go down.
I think both things point to some kind of sensory issues.
OP posts:
BlueBrick · 13/11/2023 12:35

If you are concerned you should speak to your HV &/or GP. You could also look at the M-CHAT. Although lots of what you list can be normal for children DS’s age.

ItalianMUM89 · 13/11/2023 13:47

So the problem of mchat for me is how to respond to some questions. Eg. He does funny stuff with his finger sometimes but I have never seen him doing them close to his eyes (?). He also responds to his name but not when he is very focused on something and he likes to be swung on my knees etc but not on swings. So he can be 0/1/2 or 3 depending on how I answer this questions. I would say the swing stuff I would not fail him given that he LOVES to be swung on my knees or dad's knees etc. The rest of the questions I am quite confident. He points to share/request,understands language and has pretended play. He is also interested in other children just is not able to realte to them well.
Given that I had many health related anxiety about my son in the past that were apparently false alarms (in my excuse i had some readons to belive it realeted to a difficult peegnancy etc) I need to be very convinced this time before speaking with the HV or even to my husband. That is why I wrote here. I don't expect an online diagnosis obviously but just hear some impressions. Another question, is a diagnosis at this age crucial?

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BlueBrick · 13/11/2023 13:57

You would answer no to “does your child make unusual finger movements near his or her eyes?”

Support is generally based on needs rather than diagnosis. So whilst diagnosis is important for you/others to understand DS and DS to understand himself when he is older, the majority of support is based on needs and a diagnosis doesn’t automatically result in more support.

ItalianMUM89 · 13/11/2023 14:45

Thank you for taking time to respond. About diagnosis. He has no significant delay that would lead to any real support now (as speech/motor etc for example..even if his balance is not very strong) but I have a good friend who is speech pathologist and I always ask her stuff so if there will be something significant I will probably try to find some help for him. In addition my child is exposed to 4 languages and his primary language (italian) is not the same as where we live (german) so I also find it could be tricky to find help for him now here. I hope he will start to speak and interact more also in German soon.
I will for sure bring this list to the 2year review but I feel she will probably not take me so seriously and given his young age I am not sure about how much to insist. I don't know if I would regret more to not have been proactive now or to have insisted without giving him time to see how he develops.
I suppose this is a question that nobody can answer for me.

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BlueBrick · 13/11/2023 16:35

Many multilingual DC have slightly delayed language skills in the shorter term and this can affect interaction skills too. That is normal for many multilingual DC and is nothing to worry about, the vast majority of the time they catch up as they get older.

BusMumsHoliday · 13/11/2023 19:56

I can't see any autism concerns in anything you've written. You've listed lots of things are normal for 22 months (eg echolalia, pronoun reversal, interested in children but playing with toys more than other children, repeating last word instead of saying yes). It's fine for children to spin wheels sometimes and the fact that he says "look mummy, wheels are turning" suggests both functional play and sharing his world, both of which point away from autism.

It's normal for children his age to bite from frustration and anger, and it's not concerning that he doesn't like to go high on the swings - in fact, it shows an awareness of risk. Neither is currently a sensory issue.

All children zone out and ignore sometimes. I think you need to concentrate on treating your anxiety. Check in with his nursery now and then, and ask at reviews if anything new emerges. But you child doesn't have delays or need additional help as it stands, does he?

ItalianMUM89 · 13/11/2023 20:34

No he has no delay. The only thing nursery has pointed to me is his poor balance (mostly when tired, they have also suggested maybe hypermobility) and that he does not answer yes/no questions yet (but that he does good with choices). But they are not concerned. Actually they alsways say his speech is very good as well as his understanding.
My concerns are more regarding his tendency to ignore me (and people..also kids saying his name) in some sitations. I really appreciate your answer..probably I needed it! I m currently addressing my anxiety issues with a professional but it is not making miracles.

OP posts:
zoeybrooks45 · 14/11/2023 10:31

ItalianMUM89 · 13/11/2023 20:34

No he has no delay. The only thing nursery has pointed to me is his poor balance (mostly when tired, they have also suggested maybe hypermobility) and that he does not answer yes/no questions yet (but that he does good with choices). But they are not concerned. Actually they alsways say his speech is very good as well as his understanding.
My concerns are more regarding his tendency to ignore me (and people..also kids saying his name) in some sitations. I really appreciate your answer..probably I needed it! I m currently addressing my anxiety issues with a professional but it is not making miracles.

Please rule out any hearing problems as this can affect balance and some social ques. It can also mimic ASD traits.

ItalianMUM89 · 14/11/2023 11:34

I thought of hearing issues when he was younger because he was always sick since starting nursery and he also had a pretty long ear infection in december of last year (lasted more than 1 months, 2 weeks with antibiotics as well). However, he undertsands instructions very well ad his speach is clear so I think his hearing should be fino, no?

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zoeybrooks45 · 14/11/2023 14:41

ItalianMUM89 · 14/11/2023 11:34

I thought of hearing issues when he was younger because he was always sick since starting nursery and he also had a pretty long ear infection in december of last year (lasted more than 1 months, 2 weeks with antibiotics as well). However, he undertsands instructions very well ad his speach is clear so I think his hearing should be fino, no?

it is still better to get it checked out. Ask for a referral from your GP if you don’t want to ask your HV. They can still speak and understand some children. There is something called glue ear which is hearing loss caused by recurrent ear infections. With young children it can be very easy to miss. I would rule this out and then once cleared. Wait to see in the next few months of behaviour changes. You would struggle to get an ASD assessment because LO is not scoring on the MCAT. Highlight these concerns to GP and get a second opinion.

ItalianMUM89 · 14/11/2023 16:05

Thank you @zoeybrooks45 I will ask about the hearing test. This is something that is good to do anyway! If this is ok, I will probably wait until he is 2.5 and see how he progresses.

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