I keep coming back to the possibility of autism for 5yo DS

[SpinningTops]

Does this sound similar to anyone else's child who has gone on to be diagnosed with autism.

DS is 5, he speaks like he was born 100 years ago, very old fashioned and factual. He sounds like a grown up.

He's quite anxious, struggles with shops but not because of sound, but I feel there's some kind of overwhelm. He gets fixated on wanting an item, it can be anything (e.g. chicken) but once he decides on it he can't shift his mind off it.

He will ask us what our favourite item from whatever group of things he's looking at. So he's repeatedly asking us what our favourite sweet is from his Halloween sweets. He has asked us many times since last night. He can get very stressed about this.

He asks us about time a lot, often asks 'how many minutes is it?' About everything. We've tried getting egg timers to help him but it doesn't really help.

Struggles with long car journeys for the time reason. Will ask all the way 'how many minutes?' And gets stressed if it is a long journey.

But on the other hand, he plays imaginatively (but very intensely) with his sister. They get on brilliantly and just seem to get each other. School see no issues (he's in reception).

I keep wondering if he might be autistic or just perhaps gifted and a bit quirky. He's very bright, his favourite toy is an electronic kit for ages 8+ which he can play with for hours! Loves maths and times tables, reception seems to be a bit easy content wise but he's enjoying the play and apparently has friends (though one said hi to him on leaving school yesterday and he pretty much blanked him)

I know the waiting lists are so long but I'm not sure whether this warrants further investigation.

This does sound familiar I have an autistic son but he is also developmentally delayed so your son could be gifted and autistic.
he does get very anxious in shops aswell in particular supermarkets and will sometimes get fixated on stuff we don’t need for example cat food in the way a younger child might about wanting a toy or some sweets
he is also very repatative in his speech and will ask the same questions over and over again and the frequency of these questions will increase when anxious or unwell

does your son still or have any sensory difficulties issues with sleeping? Or repetitive or special interests they could also be signs of autism

it would be worth speaking to his teacher about this and the school senco so they build a picture of his behaviour. The senco will then be able to refer you to a paediatrician if they agree he may have autism. I don’t know what they do about gifted children but we did ask for a cognitive assessment from our paediatrician.

Did preschool mention anything to you when he was there? Where there any issues with him hitting other children or other challenging behaviour?

Thanks for your reply.

He sleeps very well and no specific interests that would trigger thoughts of autism. Not particularly into trains / dinosaurs etc as an example. That's one thing that makes me think he doesn't tick all the boxes. I wonder if we'll see more behaviours as he gets older. I think he'd fit with what used to be Asperger's and I think that's often a bit later to be spotted.

He does focus intensely on something he's interested in, usually something STEM toy related. So this electronic kit, he can play with it for hours, but I wouldn't say it was a specific interest. He doesn't talk about it other than when he's doing it. Same with lego, loves it, focuses intensely but can cope without it.

I have mentioned the time anxiety to school. We also see a lot of perfectionism with writing and drawing where he gets very upset if it's not how he imagines it should be. I've also mentioned that to school.

They don't see these behaviours at school and say he's getting on really well. I'm almost embarrassed to mention it as I think they see a happy, well adjusted child.

He went through a phase at nursery of being very worried about what was for lunch, when it would be, whether he would have enough.

He does have an end sound of word stutters which everything I read suggest is linked to autism / adhd but I have seen a SALT (they haven't seen him) and they say to treat it like a stammer and ignore.

DH won't discuss it so I don't feel I can really talk to school as he's not wanting to consider it as a possibility. If I bring it up in reference to a specific behaviour he says 'why are you trying to ruin the day?'

Sorry you can’t talk to your partner about your worries that’s a normal reaction unfortunately that some men have to worries about development my partner didn’t “believe” me for ages
he could just have an anxious personality. If he’s happy and well adjusted at school and he’s not showing any challenging behaviours or stimming or having meltdowns a wait a see approach might be best.
But trust your gut keep a list on your phone of things you spot and notice in case you need it later on
parenting strategies to help anxiety in autistic children are very helpful
so implementing those to help your son will not do him any harm even if he turns out not to be neurodiverse.
I would also ask for an informal meeting with the senco aswell just to voice your concerns even if it’s just a 10-15 min chat after school drop off.

Yes, wait and see is probably a good approach. He's not had too long at school so perhaps worth keeping an eye on and seeing whether the wheels fall off.

He does meltdown but in relation to choice and decisions.

Stimming, not sure. He can get a bit flappy with board games but I think that's just excitement.

Whether it is ASD or something else, I think there is enough for you to approach the SENCO/GP about the possibility of further assessment (whether it is to paeds, CAMHS or a stand-alone team depends on the area you are in). In some areas, you can self refer for assessment. The school can provide support, so ask about that too.