Can we look on the positive side?

[DavidCameronsTie]

I was reflecting upon THAT magazine article and the underlying implication that having a SN child has a wholly negative impact upon NT siblings.

I don't think I'm alone in thinking that's wrong. So can we have a positive thread about the good things that our DC's learn from their brothers/sisters. I think my DD would say she has learnt the following from living with her brother (6, ASD):-

That people are all different - not in a bad way, just different

That anyone who doesn't want to know DS because of his differences is not worth knowing

That life is not always fair or easy

That perseverance goes a long way

That anyone who cannot add up 4 digit numbers in their heads by the age of 3 is clearly unusual

...and DD is still only 3!

good idea
ds has learnt that
dribling is normal
wheel chairs are fun to push and can cause the moses affect.
that dd adores him.

"That anyone who doesn't want to know DD because of his differences is not worth knowing(sorry so good I had to nick it as he actually said this the other day)

It's not the same but I care for a child with a severe development delay

DD & I were discussing what would happen when he grows up & I said that he might live in a house with other people who can't live by themselves, and some carers who are employed to live with them and help them to do things

DD asked if she could have that job & I was very proud

My DS who is 20 months, offers snacks and juice to his big sister(7yrs, wheelchair user unable to do anything for herself). He will bring toys to her open her hand and help her play with them. I think they will both benefit from each other.

good thread

My DS (poss ASD) is intensely protective of his younger sister, our family dog and all of us really when we go out, always checking to see that we are all together. If he hears me raise my voice in anyway at any other member of the family - even when playing games he will come running in to put a stop to any telling off that might be going on.

He is also incredibly patient with his sister (18 months) when she steals his toys or wrecks his games so she is getting to grow up with a lovely gentle and kind older brother and I am not sure that many of us have that kind of older sibling experience.

I cant comment as my ds is my only one and siblings are yet to come. I can comment on how the children at Ds's pre-school are with him though and they are bloody brilliant. They help him with toys, they place cushions around him when hes sitting so he cant hurt himself.

I was only shopping the other day when I heard ' Louis'being shouted across the street and I turned to see it was at my son...I was chuffed to bits, this little boys mum came over and explained that this little boy would name Louis as one of his best friends

DS2 and ds3 have learned to accept difference. To not react strangely to people with learning difficulties, to accept wheelchairs and profoundly disabled children as a normal everyday part of life.

They've learned that they sometimes have to look out for others who find things difficult.

And they've learned about loyalty.

Having a sister with SN has made my eldest (aged 9) the most caring, kind and thoughtful child. OK she has her moments (!) but she is so good with her sister.

She understands that disability is just a different way of life, not worse.

She understands that some people have needs and problems that can't be fixed, but that they still have value.

She knows LOADS of Makaton!

She is fiercely protective of her sister.

And DD3 is only 18 months but has started signing too

I have learnt
shock
fear
to weep with worry
patience
sage wisdom
astonishment
pride
fulfilment

and to tell dd, that no one else sees things like you do, you're truly amazing

And when trying on shoes, to tell her, what special feet you have, no one has shoes to fit you
you are Cinderella obviously...
And above all to know that no matter bloody what, the day she came into our lives, we got richer in a way that no amount of money or "I wish" could ever change.
She has made us all better people in this house

My DD1 (5 AS) is fearlessly protective towards her little (sod of a) sister. I cannot correct DD2 on a single thing with our her sticking her nose in.

I was also very proud of DD1 a couple of weeks ago. While out shopping there was a little boy of around the same age as her in a wheel chair. He was really upset and balling his little heart out. DD1 went straight over to him and asked why? was feeling so sad, and would he like some of her ice cream to cheer him up.

I must admit her bribe didnt quite do the trick, but it certainly gave his mum abit of light hearted entertainment for a few minutes. As she wouldnt move until his Mummy reasured her that he would be fine .