6yo ASD dd with dummy

[anonymousbob]

Hi everyone, hope you're all okay.

Our dd who has been diagnosed with ASD has had a dummy since birth.
She has very regimented routines every day, and if these are broken or change slightly she becomes extremely violent. Her most recent outburst when our internet went down and her tablet didn't work resulted in it being thrown at a wall (luckily it has a case) and several bruises to myself.
She has been diagnosed by the specialist teams, but since discharged as she 'copes well' at school, and doesn't have any speech and language difficulties other than selective mutism. I've argued this is a SLT issue but they've said it's more behavioural.

Anyway leading to my actual question, sorry for the ramble. She needs a dummy every night for 'chill time' (her hour before bed where there's no screens and we read and generally relax), and also for bed. If she doesn't have her dummy, she will not sleep. She has a Tommee Tippee 6-18m orthodontic dummy, so it's not even the biggest size dummy. She got attached to this size.
We told her the dummy fairy would bring her gifts to give it up, Santa would bring her extra special gifts if she hung it on the tree, but she is absolutely adamant she can't give it up because she 'can't sleep' without it. If she loses her dummy during the night she does wake up, and if she can't find it she comes to us crying until we find it.
We've told her that it could mess up her big girl teeth, that it's not hygienic (even though we do clean it but still), that when it's broken she's not getting any more (so she's obviously protecting it within an inch of its life).

Does anybody have any advice? Does anyone know if there are any teams I could approach for advice? This is obviously a huge huge thing in her life and will take a lot of work to give up but we are ready to put the work in, we just don't know where to turn.

Thank you xo

Is the dummy damaging her teeth? If it isn't, honestly, I'd leave it be.

At the moment she has only lost 4 baby teeth, and the adult teeth which are coming through do appear okay touch wood.
She doesn't however let the dentist look at her teeth and never has. She will come to the dentist, but when it comes to letting them see her teeth she has never got in the chair, even on my lap, and won't open her mouth. No amount of bribery from them convinces her. She's the same with GPs looking in her throat, she won't let them. She also refuses to take any medication and I have to mix it with stuff.
I just want to make sure we're doing the best we can for her as I know at the age of 6 having a dummy isn't ideal.

Agree with pp, if it's not affecting her teeth then let her keep it.
I would guess that her anxiety levels are quite high (selective mutism is an anxiety thing) and anything that helps reduce that (within reason) I'd hold onto.

I'd let her keep it and not make it into a battle. Usage might just drop off naturally. Or you could casually mention that (insert any famous icon here) doesn't use a dummy, that might work for my son. E.g. oh yep I've seen those Barbie Dreamhouse episodes yep, really interesting. I guess they don't sleep with dummies though, because they're so grown up. Etc.