Looks like ds has aspergers

[nikos]

Ds (ourthird child) was observed by specialist speech therapist today and she has seen strong aspergers traits. Ds is three so we are lucky to get this sorted early and they are looking to get a statement for when he starts early years in September.
But it is quite a shock to have it stated out loud. Where do I go from here? What can people recommend I read etc. Feeling a bit like I'm entering a whole new life at the moment.

I have a child with Aspergers who is now 14.
What you do next depends on how affected he is and what you consider is a problem.

agree with NMC - that what you want to read/work on will vary depending on what if anything you feel needs tackling. Presumably if they are talking AS his language and understanding is OK for his age.

Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night and Martian in the Playground are well regarded by adult aspies as being a good depiction of what it can be like having aspergers. Otherwise - there is a small press called Jessica Kingsley Publishers that does numerous books about SN issues, including Aspergers and ASD.

also they chnage. between 3 and 9 ds spent a lot of time hand flapping, hiding, refusing to acknowledge people, reacting to sounds/smells and go ape if something changed like if I cut my hair. I thought he could never live 'normally'.
He's now 14, chose to go to school at 13 and at parents evening they said he was down for all A*'s for GCSE's and spoke up in class (even if he is rather literal and corrects the teacher) and generally priased him. half of them don't even know he has Aspergers.
His behaviour has improved immensley although we still get meltdowns and he still taps and hums and various other aspie things.

need - did your DS have speech delay at that age out of interest?

My son (7) has aspergers and a severe speech disorder, apparently its very rare for a child with aspergers to have speech problems, but it does happen.

I alway thought that if there was a speech delay then the DX would be HFA. And with no speech delay the Dx would be AS.

HFA?

HFA = High functioning Autism

Oh durrr

Tony Attwood's book "Aspergers Syndrome: a guide for teachers and parents" is good too. He also has a website.

ds1 never had any speech issues. ds2 did but he';s dyspraxic.

Sorry haven't been around to reply.
Ds was a bit of a loner but pre school picked up the problem and the next stage is confirmation with a paed and then they say a statement for support when he starts school.
Ds is really social at home and when we have friends over. It's when he is in a group setting that his behaviour and social skills break down.
We have seen him improve slightly in the last few months, in the sense of spontaneous sharing of info and dialogueing and creative play. I'm not sure if this is a condition that gets 'better' in the sense that he will be able to cope. Or if we are looking at a lifetime of struggle for him.
Can anyone share their experience?

bump

If he has AS then it is a life-long condition but that doesn't necessarily mean that it will cause your ds major problems as an adult. Many adults with AS cope so well that you'd not realise they had it unless they told you.

Its good that they're looking to get him good support now as I think the earlier support is put in place the better for the child.

Ds problems only became apparent when he started school. He was a challenging and lively pre-schooler but neither we nor the preschool were concerned. School was just too much for him. He is in year 3 now and gets fulltime 1:1 support which he needs.

He is sociable but struggles in busy crowded places. Also now he and his peers are older they are less tolerant of lack of social skills and this has caused him a few problems in the last few months. He is learning all the time though

I do feel we have been really lucky that ds had a nursery teacher who pressed for his assessment. It means that he might have a statement for when he enters the early years unit at the school.
Does anyone have any tips how to deal with the anger associated with AS. It doesn't seem to be triggered by anything and when he is in a meltdown he often can't be jollied out of it. Since it doesn't have a trigger it is hard to try and step into his shoes and know what to do.
I'm trying not to worry about the future but it sometimes gets me in the middle of the night. Does anyone else have any positive stories.

I have got a really good book on challenging behaviour. i'll find you a link. The Tony Attwood book is really good too and I recommend you read it.

here is the challenging behaviour one.

I found that the more I read and understood about AS the more DS behaviour started to make sense and actually became more predictable.

this is the latest AS book by Tony Attwood.

Thanks so much for that Dusty, I will definitely get it.
If we are seeing improvements at home (and at nursery - I go in to support him 3x week) in his willingness to interact with others, would I be right in being optimistic. He is very verbal and speaks well but in the open play atmosphere of nursery, he melts down and lashes out.