DD with ADHD/ASD being excluded from socials - again

[Plantymcplantface]

So - we are doing everything we can for DD, 9, who is diagnosed and medicated for ADHD, and also has suspected ASD.

She is a kind, funny, artistic, big hearted child who can be explosive, abrupt and needs to learn social cues. Academically she is fine, in fact ahead in maths. Socially and emotionally she is perhaps 18 months - 2 years behind her classmates. We do social cues activities at home and school, and try to take a proactive approach to help her learn friendships and relationships.

She does martial arts and code club, and we try and encourage and actively offer play dates and birthday party invites which are usually accepted but almost never reciprocated.

Today is another example - I suspect all the girls
on her class have been invited on a cinema trip, except her. I don’t have any words, I’m just so sad for her. She deserves better. I haven’t told her. I will try again to take her myself (which is also very isolating for me). Just wanted to vent really.

Hi OP. You are writing my life. I was so hopeful when my DD aged 9 and was medicated for ADHD her big emotions would settle and she would begin to make friends but no such luck. She is definitely on the outskirts of all friendship groups. I have no solutions. I feel like I am constantly trying to find solutions to assist her and yet nothing seems to work. It is heartbreaking

@Londonlassy thanks for taking the time to reply. I’m so sorry to read this. No words, only love. I’m exploring some specific ADHD clubs and groups now. As well as everything else this week, I’ve just found out that the delightful class bully has been calling her names. FFS. Why can’t people just be kind 😢

@Plantymcplantface can I ask what are social activities? If you do find the strategies that works to make friendships happen. Please let me know

I'm sorry you're going through this. I remember my ds crying his eyes out that no one wanted to play with him, it was just heartbreaking. What are school doing to support her?

@Londonlassy @Iamnotanugget thanks for your reply. I’ve dealt with the school bully via school. On the social front I invite different kid over for play dates every two weeks, and I’m going to try for a sleepover invite at half term. I figure these might get reciprocated eventually. For the cinema trip I contacted one of the nicer mums, who told me who arranged it, and I asked her permission to book a cinema ticket for my DD for the same show. So we went - met them there, I sat behind, she sat with her friends, she had an amazing time. I’m just going to keep being proactive and brave. I think probably my own victim
mentality stops Me doing this so I’m going to try hard on that. School are great - they do ELSA sessions and friendship groups with her. Things are a little better for her now that she has her medication too. Good luck to you both.