School are doing nothing to help with school refusal. What can I do?

[WilderFeast]

DD has just started Yr7. she has ASD. She has found it hard to leave her primary school and start at the huge local secondary.

She is averaging around 1 day off per week and has not yet been in to school for a full week.

When she is off, I call her school and explain but nothing happens. I don’t hear anything else from school. I’ve contacted them to ask if they have any thing I can do to help. Nothing. I asked them if DD can do a reduced timetable just to settle her more slowly. No she can’t. But then nothing!

I am getting frustrated and feel like I’m just left to deal with it. DD cannot manage a full week yet, she is distraught after 2-3 days and then doesn’t make it in.

If school won’t help, can I insist I’m putting her on my own transition plan?

School have given her passes to help her leave lessons or to go and speak to a teacher if she’s feeling distressed but DD can not use any of these because she can’t easily recognise when she’s getting distressed and she won’t do it in a class full of others anyway. She definitely will not ask a teacher for help.

School have said they won’t send work for her because her days off are not in a row. They are day in , day off, 2 days in, day off etc. What can I do?

Sounds like she's handling this adaptively by stepping out when she has more than she can tolerate? It's a notoriously tough transition for autistic kids - if she is still attending 4 days a week she is doing well.

Has she got an EHCP of SEN support plan? Can you ask for a meeting with the SENCO to review? Can DD shed any light on what's most difficult, or is it just overwhelming in total?

Can you and the SENCO use her feedback, and work through possible sensory, relationship, and classroom comfort factors - what's causing distress, where are her unmet needs, how might these be addressed?

Is there any healthcare professional working with her who can help the school understand her feelings.

You might want to get assurance as to how the school is marking her absences (eg. check they are being captured as authorised).

Obviously if she is off for 15 days or more the question of LA alternative provision comes in to play. Have a look at Not Fine in School.

Sorry, should have read EHCP or SEN support plan?

Does DD have an EHCP?

Have you spoken to the SENCO? If it is the SENCO who is ignoring you, have you escalated the matter to the SLT/HT? Have you followed up verbal conversations with emails?

Would arriving/leaving 10 mins early/late help? Moving classes 5 mins early/late? A routine check in once or twice a day with a specific member of staff? Do they have a quiet space for lunchtime? How is DD getting to/from school?

The school is right that they don’t have to send work home, whether the days are consecutive or not. It is the LA’s duty to ensure DC who are unable to attend school receive a suitable, full-time education, not the schools. This should begin once it becomes clear 15 days will be missed. The days don’t have to have already been missed or consecutive. You can’t insist on a part-time timetable. Although of course you could only send DD for part of the day/not all days.

@WilderFeast same position here and not helped by the fact my daughter lost her only primary friend as went to a different secondary and has not got any friends at the new school.

I've a meeting next week with senco as my daughter is not coping at all. Feel free to message me if you want to chat x