Help.....

[SantaFio2]

ok..

whats up?

tech assured us he had fixed this the other day you know.

I'll never trust that man again.

i am here to help whoever it is....

Oh!!! What happened my post has disappeared!!!!!

I need some help ......

My closest friend came to stay with me last night. She has two beautiful boys who have grown up with my two little horrors.
Her boys both go to boarding school and she has been having some real problems with the younger child,M.
M is nearly 10. I looked after him when he was a toddler and he would play with J - although was always very boisterous with him. M was a difficult toddler, pre school was horrific, he would scream, kick and hit anyone who got too close - especially if he was doing something and didnt want to be disturbed. M was asked to leave one school when he was in year 2 because he was violent towards his teacher. My friend has endured most of the behavioural problems alone as her hubby is in the services.
When they moved away from our area we had very little oppurtunity to meet up. During this time we noticed J's behaviour was almost mimicking that of M's. We often commented that J was having a M moment when he was being difficult. J's behaviour got worse and eventually the professionals became involved.
Whilst I have not been able to see my friend as much as I would like we have always remained in close contact over the phone. She has been a great support to us.
My friends hubby was invoved in the clean up opperation after 9/11, he served in Iraq during the conflict, he has been posted to Belfast and more recently a close member of their family was killed.
M has begun to exhibit some rather worrying behaviour and thye matron at the school asked my friend to take her son to see the GP. To cut a long story short....M has been referred to see a CP. The CP has suggested that M may have ASD traits, COD and Reactive Anxiety Disorder.
Whilst I have been reading as many books that I can to help me understand J's ASD, I have often noticed that some of the things I read remind me so much of M.
Both of us sat last night wondering how we missed the vital warning signs that our boys were on the spectrum. J has SPD and specific learning difficulties - M has the highest IQ ever recorded at his school. He is intelligent beyond his years - he was explaining to me this morning the chemical reactions that he had been studying at school - I was blown away with his speech and understanding of science - this is his obsession!!!
Both of our boys are so very different aceademically and yet they are so alike in their ways...
I have sent her home with all my reading material on ASD but can not find any info on Reactive Anxiety Disorder. Does anyone here know anything about this? If so please help....I am trying to find a good book that will help my friend understand this.

I have never heard of Reactive Anxiety Disorder but it sounds suspiciously like a euphemism for "ASD has been caused by anxiety" which is not considered possible. ASD may well cause anxiety but not the other way round. Its some other sort of disorder then fair enough but don't let your friend be bullied by some misinformed professional into thinking that she has caused any sort of ASD or AS etc.

I just found

on open-mind.org .

I wonder if they mean he has ASD but that also his behaviour is affected by circumstances (like his father's activities) on top of that?

Its very common for people with ASD and AS to have anxiety and can be a big problem. But what I mean is that the anxiety is not going to cause ASD or AS, it may be a different disorder altogether or it may be part of the ASD/AS. Either way be very careful about psychotherapy, especially for a child, I'd be more inclined to speak to a psychologist first or even psychiatrist.

Thank you.
I really do beleive that M is on the spectrum...he has so many sensory problems...clothing is his main bug bear...I watched his mother physically cut off a pair of trousers he had been wearing for 4 days and nights...he refused to remove them and they were honking!!!!
M has had t5o deal with an awful lot emotionally over the past two years...however I beieve his behaviour has not been understood and has always been associated with his fathers job, 9/11 and the death of his family memeber.
His mther has held my hand through some of my darkest days....now maybe its my time to repay the support.
M asked me today why he is so different to everyone else and why he is so like J - at least now he will be getting some help.

JaysMum - don't really know what to say but you are a good friend for trying to help.

I am by no means an expert but maybe your friends child exhibits more Asperger's symptoms than ASD taking into account the high IQ? Similar but not the same IYSWIM.

Sometimes the 'vital warning signs' are so subtle they are not seen so you cannot blame yourselves for not catching them. Sounds as though the young man might be a budding young science wiz though!

It has been established our DD2 is on the autism spectrum but because she suffered seizures and global developmental delays at about 1 yr we put her communication delays down to that and unfortunately didn't accept the autism diagnoses when they first suspected it when she was 2 1/2 because everything was clouded by her global developmental delay due to the seizures. Things may have been different but now we are making up for lost time and she is finally speaking - we can ask her basic questions and get a response - usually.

Don't know anything about Reactive Anxiety Disorder. Is this a sudden change in his behaviour or something that has always been there but not really picked up?

My J shows all the clasic traits of Aspergers and has a dx of SPD - we are awaiting assessment for his Aspergers. My friends son and J are so alike....its eiry watching them together. Everyone who doesnt know that they are not brothers look at us in disbelief when we say there is no biological link. They have the same sensory difficuties, same sense of humor, same dress sense......almost like peas out of the same pod.

The only difference is that J has specific learning difficulties and M is so intelligent. Because he is so intelligent most people look at him as being an obnoxious, arrogant, egocentric brat. Now I feel bad because some times when he was having one of his days...I have said that he was a spoilt little kid!!!!!!

Since I began to discover the reasons behind J's difficulties and bizzarre behaviours I have now realised that maybe the reason our kids are so alike is because M is on the spectrum too.

I have been chatting with my buddie and she has been able to find out more info about reactive anxiety disorder and as Davros has said she thinks that this is an term used to say the ASD traits are being caused by anxiety.

Not until you sit and really think about the times your child has acted in such a different way to other children do you start to piece together the jigsaw puzzle. M has endured an awful lot of emotional upset over the past few years but his behaviour has always been the same. His intelligence has always been there....he was reading at 3 and I mean proper reading...he used to sit and read winnie the pooh to J when he was 3 and a half!!!!

I just hope and pray that M's problems will be helped....his CP has urged my friend and her husband to let M udergo psycotherapy conselling....this she is thinking about.

Not quite sure what the difference is between psycotherapy, psychology and phyciatric therapy.....acn anyone tell me?

Reading proper at 3 and a half - sounds very special. Apparently something there.

Sorry, I have no idea between the three different psych therapies you mention - hope someone else can help?

Definitely recommend further testing for the family as once you know you have a better idea of the direction to take to help the child.

Jaysmum - Ellie sounds similar to M. She can read proper books and I mean read. She has been reading since the age of 4 and grasped the concept very quickly. It is all part of her difficulties and is quite common apparently. The school are very good though as they realise that she can read way above her comprehension (which is not ideal) so are keeping her reading books at school at a level that she can comprehend!