Appointment and work

[Emeraldrings]

My DS is in the process of being diagnosed with autism and as such as we have lots of appointments and meetings.
I've used most of my A/L to cover these and now have to take unpaid leave. Also I think work is a bit annoyed at the time off I'm having. DH does do his share but he often doesn't ask the questions I would so generally it's better if I go or we both go.
So, I'm starting to look for a more part time job to fit in with family life. But is it possible? How do you manage appointments? Do you work full time, part time or are you a SAHP?

For many years I was a SAHP because managing DC’s needs and work wasn’t compatible. Last year I started working very part time TTO in a flexible job. More hours, not TTO or a less flexible job wouldn’t work.

The big question is finances? What can you afford.

I couldn’t work for years, due to the appointments, meetings and having to do speech therapy, OT and physiotherapy. (I did do voluntary work p/t TTO.) DD1 went to a residential school at 10, but then DD2 needed considerable support from me through secondary (and university at times).

I went back to work p/t TTO for DH and his partner when DDs were 15. Luckily our work can consist of discrete jobs, which take 2 - 3 days, so I could take time off whenever I needed to.

Since Covid, we have both wfh.

Ime, mothers of children with SEN fall into one of two camps - work FT, but can’t fight for their DC’s education; or SAHP/very p/t and do everything they can to get DC’s SEN met? Quite a few go and work part time for charities in a related field?

Does your employer have a carers policy? If not, is working for a corporate or a public sector org who would offer you some support and flexibility, an option?

I work FT in the civil service. I have a carer's passport which documents the flexibilities that I have agreed with my management to manage caring responsibilities for my autistic child. In terms of meetings and appointments, I am allowed to make up the time at evenings/weekends. DH is also public sector so works very flexibly.

We can't both go to all meetings etc (during Covid we weren't both allowed to most of the time anyway) so we draw up a written list of questions together beforehand if one of us can't be there. We do roughly 50% each of medical appointments I'd say. Really big things like EHCP mediation, we do both go to.