GLOBAL development delay

[SONofaB]

Hello all,

My almost 4-year old was diagnosed with global development delay 23%, his weakest areas are speech (scored 33 months)and social skills (22 months). He's really good at problem solving that doesn't involve verbal communication though, rating at a 100% on that one. Also he's out of this planet when it comes to sensing people's moods.
Left nappies just two months ago. Can't dress/undress himself.
From what l read and understood from his Grifhts report he is mentally retarded, apologies for the slur. Not completely incapable of interacting with others but enough that learning will be problematic.

He's currently attending a montessori waldorf kindergarten but I'm thinking about taking him out and enrolling him in a regular one since all that education seem lost on him. To factor in greatly is that after almost a year he hasn't built any rapport with his teacher, today he tried to run away and is positively miserable when dropped there.

I'm at my wit's end here. I'm 45 years old, single mum. His excuse of a father refuses to accept his son is delayed and won't get involved with his education- conveniently blaming on the fact l moved 50 miles away from him (which l did to escape all the emotional abuse l was subjected to while living in the same town, but that's another story). I work two jobs 50hrs a week. I'm tired and sick.

The psychology team, obviously, want to sell therapy but no one guarantees anything.

No idea where to turn. So l come here to ask y'all who maybe might have been in similar shoes. Is there any light at the end of the tunnel? Right now l feel demoralised with absolutely nothing to look forward to in life. Honestly, I'd rather have had a terminal disease diagnosis than having a mentally delayed child

If your in the UK, have you started applying for ehcp.
Which will help you get ds into the right school next year.
It takes around 6 months approx to get from start to finish.

Are you in the UK.

I think you need some MH support/counselling.

Am guessing you are American, so advice on how UK system works won't be much use. There might be Portage in your area though - worth looking at that.

Am also guessing you're a good but overwhelmed person and you haven't thought through how some of what you've said - eg the line about terminal diagnosis being better than mental delay - will feel to other parents of kids with learning disabilities.

So. What can I say that's useful.

Well, if you're paying a fortune to send your kid to a kindergarten he hates, then stop. Not because he isn't worthy of it, but because he hates it. Wtf is montessori-waldorf anyway? They're very different. It's like 'lasagne-curry'.

I'm confused by your evaluation.
100% non-verbal intelligence and late but not super late toilet training doesn't sound very GDD to me. The whole point of GDD is that you are late across the board?

If he has communication challenges, then use the money you'll save on school fees for a good SALT and OT.

I'm also guessing the psychology team want to sell ABA. It's a therapy that many (all?) Autistic adults who are able to communicate think of as abusive and traumatising.

Thanks for that "Wtf is montessori-waldorf anyway? They're very different. It's like 'lasagne-curry" it made me laugh so thank you.
Montessori and waldorf are methodologies, they're are alternative to mainstream, the reason l enrolled him there is that in theory they spent most time outdoors and, again, in theory, they respect each child's particularity. When he started it was actually the only alternative as he was still in nappies and the other facilities kind of frowned on it.

He is verbal but not up to what the system considers enough for his age. He makes full sentences but chop his words in half, usually "eats" Rs and Ls.

He has close to no social skills with his peers or interest in them. Having said that though, l was never too keen on people my age either so the jury is still out on whether the lack of friends is due to his communication issues or a natural predisposition. He is very open and engaging with adults.

The evaluators want to have him attending speech therapy 4x week and some other kind of therapy 2x week to train his fine motor skills, e.g., holding a pencil the correct way, drawing, folding paper and operating scissors.

You're right, I'm overwhelmed and lost. After having gone through all the pre-natal tests for abnormalities I was hoping I'd have an at least average child. It's disappointing and for someone who's not into denial, very demoralising.

No, I'm in the continent. However there's nothing like Mumsnet around here, this is why l joined.
As far as options within the local system I'm already contacting what's available.

SALT and OT can help, why don’t you give them a try? If after persevering with them for a while they aren’t helpful for DS you can stop them.

I will, have already referenced him to the services. They are supposed to go to his school and work from there but let's see how this will turn out

I realised the remark l made about preferring to have a terminal diagnosis rather than a kid who's mentally delayed may have offended many so to clear things out - l meant I'd prefer to have myself a terminal illness. I'm just too aware of how complicated this AI world is becoming, how unforgiving society is l suppose l'd rather die. Life is too difficult for the average already, let alone someone with mental handicaps