Is this autism? Feel so alone with it all.

[Oneanddone88]

DD who is 4, I have noticed possible neurodiverse behaviours for a while , I'll list them here if anyone can help.

• sniffs my fingers for comfort when tired /going to sleep
• flaps hand (stims) when excited, also jumps up and down on the spot
• hits other children, particularly in softplay, used to be prevoked and now it's just seemingly random if they're in her way or personal space
• can verbalise that hitting is wrong etc but still does it despite repeatedly trying to discipline
• obsessed with pretending to be characters and will often only talk to me I pretend to be one too
• strong preference for me over dad
• gets very anxious
• Hates water in her face , had to stop swimming lessons as she couldn't tolerate other kids splashing
• comes across very bossy and nursery always remark that if she doesn't want to do something, she doesn't.
• can't draw very well at all
• gross motor skills took ages to develop

There's more , but it's so difficult, I've stopped meeting with friends with kids as I feel I constantly explain away her behaviour. She starts school soon and I just hope they help me

Lots of possible indicators there. It’s good you’ve made a list. Have you discussed with anyone else such as GP, health worker? Starting school is a big transition and it might not be an easy one if she’s ND and not being supported. Are there any ND play sessions you can attend? These might be more suitable. Please don’t isolate yourself as you need support too. I know what you mean about play dates going awry and being stressful but both you and your daughter still need social outlets.

I think that it's great that you've made a list too.

Personally, I wouldn't wait for the School, the Primary School didn't help us at all because DD was compliant at school.

I'd call your HV, if you're in the UK, and ask them to do the 4 year Social & Emotional Assessment. You can download it now and fill it in before you see them.

I'd also do this SLT progress checker to see if that says that she might need some support.

Let us know how you get on