ASD or not? I literally feel like I don’t know what I’m doing anymore

[Awaitingdiagnosis]

So, my DS is 3 and 3 months. His verbal skills are rated at 16 months at preschool. At home he speaks constantly, but it’s unclear. He repeats phrases and uses them roughly in context.

He lines up cars constantly in traffic jams (a copied phrase from my DH), is reluctant to eat new foods, won’t give soft toys names - his bunny is Bunny etc, doesn’t name friends at nursery or tell me what activities he’s done, he has an aversion to smells and specific noises (eg. Hand driers), doesn’t always respond to his name or instructions- he isn’t ignoring, but zones out completely like he’s in his own world.

He’ll spend hours riding his bike or building with Lego. Yesterday, for example, he spent 6 hrs on the pumptrack between meals.

He does not sleep if his routine changes, he’ll literally climb the walls unless he’s so tired he passes out.

I’m at my wits end. I’m exhausted and I’ve not managed any time with my husband for months.

What do I do?!

It sounds like a referral would be beneficial, whether it is ASD or not. In some areas, you can self refer. If you can’t ask the HV or GP to refer. Also, look at a referral to SALT.

Have you looked at the M-CHAT?

Is DS’s nursery providing any support?

DS’s nursery refused to make a referral and are next to useless at SEN. I’ve had to chase them for a speech report - I had no idea his speech at nursery was so much more limited compared to home. He literally uses single words or demands and doesn’t really interact with others apparently.

Conveniently, they’re blaming a language delay on Covid and will not refer for speech therapy, despite scoring him as having a delay of over 20 months!

DS will move to school nursery in September. School nursery have just started the process alongside the health visitor. There will be a joint meeting to look at progress and he will have a hearing screening.

I flagged concerns regarding sorting and lining up objects at 12 months, but have had 4 different health visitors since. We’ve been lost in the system somewhat.

My husband is anti ‘labels’, but diagnosis (whatever that looks like) will be so important for his education in the long run.

but diagnosis (whatever that looks like) will be so important for his education in the long run.

I am pro diagnosis (where there is one to be made), but support in education is based on needs, not diagnosis.