Toilet training fail

[SachiLars]

My son is 5yo non-verbal autistic. He understands 10-ish words.

Over the last two days I have tried toilet training him based on a YouTube video from Seattle children’s hospital that was unofficially recommended by his paediatrician. I gave up at about 3:00 today having not managed to get any wee in the toilet.

Issues

• I couldn’t get him to increase his fluid intake to go often enough
• When we were meant to be doing ‘baseline’ his pattern of urinating was all over the place so there was no way to anticipate when to get him on the toilet.
• The overlap between the 30s he would sit on the loo and the 30s he takes to wee seem impossible to coincide.

Has anyone tried this method and found it worked? If so, do you have any tips?

Any other methods worked for a kid who isn’t at all bothered about being wet / dirty.

Feeling very deflated and a bit of a failure. My boy, not even bothered in the slightest so I guess that’s something.

This is the programme.

It doesn’t sound like DS is ready. Is he under the continence service?

Maybe he isn’t ready. It was me wanting to try get it done in the summer holidays rather than the paediatrician suggesting it.

We’re not under continence services. I guess we’ll see at next years review. That’s a lot of nappies in the meantime.

The summer holiday is such a great opportunity isn’t it, it must be so frustrating for you. We used the Oh crap method, which for the first stage has you spend several days watching them like a hawk and as soon as you see them start to go you put them immediately on a potty. The idea is they then get used to the concept of weeing = potty.

Obviously the book is geared primarily to parents of NT children and it doesn’t address interoception issues as far as I recall, but in the first part she discusses markers that show if your child is ready:

*Does your child retreat to a corner or private place to poop?
• Can your child recite the “ABC” song?
• Can your child communicate his needs? By this I mean: Can your child somehow ask for water, juice, or milk when he’s thirsty? Can your child somehow ask for a snack when he’s hungry? Can your child throw a tantrum for candy at the market? Can your child throw a tantrum for just about anything?

If your child is retreating to some private place—any place: under the table, another room, maybe even just turning his back—to poop, it is absolutely time to start potty training.*

Your ds is nv but do the other things apply?

There are probably other lists of readiness markers, maybe some more relevant for ASD but this book is still on my Kindle.

I don’t think he has any specific poo places. I did wonder if he was saving it until we were at the hotel rather than out and about when we were on holiday but at home he doesn’t save it for one room. And definitely doesn’t save the wee as that was all over!

He can communicate needs fairly well by hand holding and I made a series of toilet PECS cards.

Not to be too graphic - but how did you know when your little one was urinating? Even when I let him run around in his pants and no shorts I still missed it. Or I’d think he’d look dry but wasn’t.

Maybe I wasn’t hawk like enough?

They are naked from the waist down during this bit. The book said that you don’t take your eyes off them, dh and I did it together and it was tedious but for us it worked. Our ds was verbal though and different presentation.

Thanks for the info. That’s something I’ll consider next time.

I would look at a referral to the continence service now. You may be able to self refer, if not the GP or school nursing (or whatever they call themselves in your area) team will be able to.