Noise complaints by my next door neighbour

[Pinkladies1]

Hello everyone new to the mums forum's just wanted some clarity on my situation at home as its really getting me down and want some help on what to do...

I've lived in my house which is council now for nearly 10 years, I have three children with Autism, ADHD, Learning difficulties, cognitive delay, behaviour needs communication needs. All do have EHCP in place now this gives them 1-1 support through school. My next door neighbour does text me to complain as we used to get on well and talk when she first moved in with her two children and exchanged numbers, which was fine to begin with. Around 8 months ago I had the police at my door at nearly 1am as my neighbour had complained about the noise and said domestic disturbance.

I did speak with police they said sorry to disturb you at this hr we had to call so had to check it out then left as my kids had been asleep. It seams to be every 6/8 months I will get texts from her saying boys are banging being loud at silly o clock. Ive explained my situation with her and whats been going on and with my childrens needs its difficult and without routine in the holidays its worse.

We also had a traumatic event recently that my son had been knocked down by a car and we all witnessed it thankfully he os ok amd was very lucky! But we've had a spike in behaviour since the event. My children are getting bigger now 11 and nearly 10. I had a message to say can you stop the banging do you want me to call the police, I said I dont have a problem with that and explained my situation once more and said sorry and that im doing my best as a single parent.

She said to me over text aswel as that you need to control youre kids and dont make excuses for them, they need to be parented properly, and you need to try harder, or get help!

I feel totally hurt by this im trying my best with ongoing challenges I already have help I just dont want to feel crappy in my own home, down to my neighbour and it can be a struggle and challenge which I have explained to her. She even complained to social about the noise! Around a year ago I just dont know what to do I have blocked her number as I dont want the txts. Thanks for support everyone 😊

Block the number.

Have you had a home OT assessment? To look at trying to make the house better meet DC’s needs and safer? Via a DFG if needed.

Do DC take anything to aid sleep? If not, you should request to try melatonin. If they already take that or other medication, there are others they can try.

You should also request early reviews of DC’s EHCPs with the aim of amendments so they better meet DC’s needs.

What are they doing? What kind of noise and when?
I have an issue with one of my neighbours as I have two with asd. However I know that I did everything I could to prevent disturbing them. If you have done what you can then she has nowhere else to go. I also moved bedrooms around so that my dc who was noisy was the furthest away from my neighbour's side which helped.

I have a similar thing with my daughter. I'm a single dad with full custody of my daughter. I've only been in my house 2 n a half months now. Had to go through a year stuck in 1 room with a 10 year old. She has adhd and possibly asd also. Started her monthly aswell which with girls with adhd seems to amplified it. I've had a phonecall from council with noise complaints in the 2 and a half months we have been here. My daughter has meltdowns. At home even at school which resulted in her being permanently excluded. Into another school and only doing half hour a day at a cost of 40 quid a week in bus fares. And now she is going to secondary school in September and it's gonna be the same half an hour. The council said get social involved. We had them. Due to my ex (my daughters mum) trying to run my daughter over in her car because of my daughters behaviour. I had no idea as I was at work until i read it in a report from social as well as other things. They stepped it up to child protection at a meeting with them and some others. Next meeting 2 months later they stepped it down because of all the effort I had done to ensure my daughter was safe clothed fed etc. Which they said don't normally happen. And now we are social free Its been hard for my daughter in past 2 years. Before we left the house we was in I had no income for myself as I lost my job as wasnt needed anymore. My ex was earning close to 2 grand a month if not more. And she did not want to pay for food gas electric. Just saying I needed to get a job. But not long after I lost my job my daughter dropped from full day in school to a hour or 2. So that was reason for myself to not be able to work. As my ex didn't want to be there to get my daughter ready for school be there for when she got back etc. The way my daugter is more like her mum. Which she doesnt even see now my daughters choice. Dont blame her either. But according to my ex its me thats stopping her. But any way it is difficult kids don't have an off switch. The neighbours will just have to deal with it and accept it. It won't last forever as they grow up they will grow out of some or most of the things.

@Houston981 if you are in England, DD is being unlawfully informally excluded. You should inform the school via email DD will be attending full time unless formally excluded. Alternatively, if DD can’t attend school because of her SEN/MH, the LA must provide alternative arrangements to ensure DD receives a suitable full-time education. Email the Director of Children’s Services informing them of the situation and requesting provision under s.19 of the Education Act 1996. If that fails, email again reminding them of their statutory duty and threatening judicial review. Then, if that doesn’t work, you need a pre-action letter.

Alongside this, you need to request an early review of her EHCP or request an EHCNA if she doesn’t already have an EHCP.

You should also request school transport.

When the council mentioned social care, they would have meant an assessment via the disabled children’s team, which you should request. Also, a carer’s assessment for you. Contact has model letters you can use.