What would you do?

[thirdistheonewiththehairychest]

10yo DD is currently being assessed for autism.

We booked her into a 4 day drama summer camp. She was very keen, pleased that a girl from her class was going to be there, excited about it.

Day 1 - Went happily, didn't say much about it afterwards but seemed to have a nice time.

Day 2 - 8am announced that yesterday had been nice but it's not really her thing so she's not going back. We managed to persuade her to go with a bit of bribery.

Day 3 - Didn't really want to go again but seemed resigned to the fact she didn't have a choice.

Day 4 (today) - Point blank refusal. Apparently yesterday her friend was annoying all day and she's exhausted. Just wants to stay at home on the laptop all day instead.

I have managed to persuade her to go with the agreement that I will pick her up at lunchtime. I have messaged the leader to ask if this is possible but haven't heard back. It was completely traumatic though, lots of hyperventilating, saying that she couldn't do it... We needed her to go though as we have to work and this summer camp cost us a small fortune.

This is all new to us as she used to cope fine with things like this, hence us booking it in the first place. It's so hard to know what to do for the best. We don't want her to be distressed but equally we don't want to give her the impression that she can just opt out of anything she doesn't like regardless of the cost to us.

How do we manage this sort of thing?

Tbh I think going to a summer camp may be too much for her. If you struggle with social communication, have sensory difficulties and struggle with change then this kind of thing is likely awful. I understand that this is very difficult If you have to work but it may well be that you need to look at other options such as maybe paying someone to stay at home with her.

I wouldn’t have forced DD to go today, but I understand you work and needed her to attend. It may be DD can only cope 1 or 2 days a week with such a camp, or they may not work for her at all.

Yes, thank you both. We will definitely be changing tack next holidays!!