6 year old ADHD

[hollyandtheivy123]

Morning all, I’m wondering if anyone can give me some advice. We are really struggling with how to help our 6 year old and don’t really know where to turn.

We are really unsure of how to help her at home, we suspect ADHD and has had a SEN referral through school but have heard the wait list in our area is up to 5 years.

She seems to be masking a lot in school to the point of exhaustion and doing well academically, it has taken two years for teachers to agree to refer to SEN as they have noticed stimming behaviours and some outburst in school mainly in play times rather that in the classroom.

At home we are having at least twice daily violent outburst screaming hitting, kicking, biting. She’s unable to sit still and climbing over furniture somersaulting off upstairs bannisters off her bunk bed which is really dangerous.

Her sleep is really suffering and we’re unable to get to sleep at the moment till gone ten on most evenings, she is then waking up at 5 with dark circles under her eyes and it is definitely increasing meltdowns and hyperactivity.

We have been to see a child behaviourist who has advised us on some techniques to help her which does help with some of the meltdowns but not with other aspects.

We’ve spoken to the doctors who have said they can’t help until the assessment is complete.

I don’t really know where to go to get her some support, I can see how hard it is for her and really want to help her. We’re considering getting a private assessment but she masks so well in school and infront of other family members I’m really unsure if it will get picked up at all.

Can anyone give any advice on where to get help for her? Do you think a private assessment is worth it and will we actually get any help on the back of it? Thanks anyone who can offer any advice.

we suspect ADHD and has had a SEN referral through school but have heard the wait list in our area is up to 5 years.

Do you mean a referral for diagnostic assessment?

Separate to the diagnosis process, what support is the school providing? Support in schools is based on needs, not diagnosis. The school must make their best endeavours to meet DD’s SEN, even without a diagnosis. Do they use anything like Zones of Regulation? If you think it is necessary, you could also request an EHCNA.

You could ask for a referral to paeds or a sleep clinic to look at medication to aid sleep. You could also look at a referral to OT. Although some ICBs no longer commission sensory OT on the NHS. OT can look at what adjustments/aids can help make the house safer, too.

Do you have any sensory toys/equipment at home? Do you have a trampoline?

Some people find Ross Greene’s The Explosive Child book or Yvonne Newbold’s resources helpful.

@Relaxinghammock thanks so much for your reply. To be honest I'm not very au fait with the terminology it's all very new to me so I need to do some reading up. My understanding was that she is has been referred through school for an adhd assessment and there has been no mention of an EHCP, they have been reluctant for a while to do anything as her behaviour is school is brilliant. The only reason why the teacher agreed is because of the stimming she has noticed.

I didn't realise you could get a referral to paediatrics re sleep for s child who may be adhd so I will go back to the doctors on Monday again and request one, I spoke to them on Thursday and they just said there was nothing they could do until she had been assessed.

Thanks I've read the explosive child but might go over it again as it's been a couple of years.

Thanks for your reply again it's really helpful.

Coping ‘fine’ at school and exploding at home it’s rare. It is called the coke bottle effect. It doesn’t mean the problem is at home. If school life was easier for DD, home life would improve too.

Although the referral is via school, it is to the NHS for a diagnostic assessment. It isn’t a referral ‘to SEN’.

The school should be supporting DD’s SEN. Have you spoken to the SENCO? They could offer things like movement breaks, sensory circuits, nurture group, wobble cushion, emotional literacy support, Zones of Regulation. Arriving/leaving via a quieter entrance &/or 5/10 mins late/early. Does DD have noise cancelling heads/ear defenders?

If you think an EHCP is necessary, you can request an EHCNA yourself. IPSEA has a model letter you can use.

Some areas allow a referral to paeds for help with sleep, other areas don’t but you can request a referral to a sleep clinic. There will be somewhere you can be referred to, even if it is out of area.

@Relaxinghammock thanks so much that's so insightful and really helpful, I hadn't thought about asking school for any support to make things easier but now you've said that I feel like it would be a really positive way forward. She would benefit so much from having some breaks at school to let our energy. I think she is just trying so so hard to fit in and "behave". And definitely the coke bottle effect is what we're experiencing. It will be interesting to see over the summer holidays how she is.

I will look into everything you've suggested I really appreciate your advice.

A typo in my pp rather changes it’s meaning. The first sentence should say isn’t rare rather than it’s rare. I really should proof read my posts. Sorry about that.

It does sound like DD is masking. It can be exhausting long term, but increasing support can help DD.