4 yo not potty trained

[Sunshineclouds11]

Hi

Posting in here also incase anyone can help in regards the sensory/security part!

My sons 4, starting school in Sep and still in nappies.

I have tried everything. Nothing has/is working.
Reward charts, sweets, toys as an incentive just don't batter an eye lid.

I think it may be more a sensory thing. I feel his nappy is his safety blanket, whenever I take it off, in the hope to keep it off he screams and won't settle until it's back on.
I've tried putting underwear on, he just rips them off, underwear under nappy, not having it.

He knows what the toilet is for, will sit on it with a nappy in, pretend to wee/poo, flush the toilet, wash his hands after. We do praise him for this and try each time to take the nappy off but it causes WW3.

I've looked in ERIC website but not sure what else I can do!

Any advise please! My goal is to get him on the toilet for starting in Sep!
(School are fine if this isn't the case)

👋🏽 does he ever have accidents in the bath/shower?
Has he seen you all peeing in the toilet?
do you have a step set up all the time so he can just go?
have you explained to him that that’s where pee and poo go?
do you know how long after drinking he pees?
do you know what time he poops and what he looks like before?

Hi,

No accidents in the bath.
Sees us both on the toilet.
Yeah we have a step, a seat insert also.
Yeah we have read books, watched videos, explained to him what happens and where it goes.
I haven't actually timed to see how long after he wee's. Will do this.
He poo's different times, he doesn't have a 'regular' say morning poo etc. l can tell when he's going to have one though.

What I did with my language delayed child was give him a huge drink and then just keep sitting him on the loo however many mins afterwards. It sounds like he’s nervous without his nappy on. Could you sit him on the loo after a bath naked while you do something/tidy up/get his pjs? Once he’s used to that try filling him with a huge drink before the bath. If he starts peeing in the bath scoop him out and get it in the loo then praise him and repeat the next night, if not he can sit on it after his bath.

This sounds like a strange suggestion, but have you tried DS sitting on the toilet in a nappy with a hole cut in it?

We are seeing a continence nurse and her advice is to sit them on the loo 20 mins after eating. We reward with a button for the loo and 2 buttons if he can do anything. Sounds good in theory, but hasn't cracked our issue. It might be worth a try though?

Thank you all.

We have managed two wee's on the toilet, no accidents as of yet and no nappies🤞🏽
No going back now he's doing great

amazing @Sunshineclouds11 - we are in exactly the same boat. Was there any trick you found that made the difference? We've tried all the same things and now that summer is upon us and this is my our chance before school in Sept! The one difference I see in where you were is that our DS does still wee in the bath and my reaction time is usually too slow to get him on the toilet on time😖I will definitely work on that!

It's so hard isn't it @Scratchybaby

I literally stopped the nappies. I was so scared tbh but afew blunt replies on another thread I just needed to do it.

Does your DS sit on the toilet with a nappy on?

Thanks for responding @Sunshineclouds11 - and yes it is difficult! So honestly, well done getting there!!

He'll sit on the toilet with no nappy, but there's usually some protest and bribes (we started with a tablet 😝but can keep him there with singing and keeping him company now). I managed with the poos because I also could tell when he was going to go so I could run him in in time. With wees not so much, though he is at least often aware of when he's going and will touch his nappy when it's happening. He's verbal but really delayed with his language skills, so along with any sensory issues, I'm still unsure if he's just uninterested or actually unable to communicate to me when he needs to go. Except for his poo face haha.

This summer will be our big chance as we seem to have gotten over the issue of him wearing pants with another layer (shorts for now, hopefully moving on to trousers) and he's home from nursery until school starts. I think I may also just need to get the nappies off, as you say. Accept the messes, and just stay single minded in the goal - no one leaves the house without pants AND trousers on, and the ability to go in the toilet 😂But any little tricks that helped - I'm all ears!!

Sorry for late reply!

I have no tricks sadly other than bare bum!
My son also started recognising when he was going so I suppose I had to take away his 'safety' and ability of doing it just where he was.

People would say to me it'll click, he'll get it and honestly I would just think that's not going to happen, my sons speech is also delayed, but hand on heart it has.

First morning I gave him two oranges and filled his water bottle up, put his fave film on, waited 20 mins and put him on the toilet and it happened.

I would say go for it, power through, reward with choc buttons, stickers whatever he enjoys.

haha thanks @Sunshineclouds11 ! You're right, I just need to go for it, and keep going until it sticks. Waiting until I can have a back and forth conversation with him about using the potty is obviously what got us to four and a half and still in nappies 😂😖

Honestly well done though, really heartening to hear success stories at this age!