Telling child he has ASD

[ItsNothingPersonal]

Hi,

I have a 5 year old boy, he is diagnosed with Autism.

I was just wondering when is a good time to tell him?

It would be great to hear from those who have crossed this bridge.

How did you do it?
What age?
Did it help, telling them?

I've reached out to his S&LT who said she'd send over book recommendations, but it's always nice to hear from those who have been there before.

Thank you!

This is a good article about it:

https://autisticnotweird.com/when-should-i-tell-2020/

Obviously only his opinion and you will find plenty of others online.

My 5 year old doesn't quite grasp it, but I mention it in conversation to him, so if he's struggling with something and he gets cross I say, "Oh dude, this autism sure is confusing for you", just so he's got awareness of it.
I've never sat him down and explained he's autistic because he's no comprehension of that yet, or when we use his visuals etc and his brothers don't need them, we say, "these are yours, you have them because it makes things easier to understand. People with autism find these helpful"

I don't harp on about it, at all, but I don't want the word to be unused or in anyway attached to feeling different to us, it's just a fact, he has autism.

Thank you! I'll read this through later.

@Lwrenagain
Wow!

I love this! "Oh dude, this autism sure is confusing for you"

I think he is now realising he's different, especially as his interests are so out there. He doesn't play like the other kids do, & though he wants to play with them, he has to try so, so hard. I know he masks & I know it increases his anxiety & depletes his energy faster because of it. I just want to say - this is why, but it's OK because we can work through it.

Thanks for the advice so far!

The lady who diagnosed my son (psychologist) explained it to him and then I just told him it's his super power and that's why he's super. It's still early days so I'm still unsure how to explain it any other way as im still learning myself. I don't want to over load my son with things he can't understand. He's 9 almost 10.

I talk to my son about how his brain works a bit differently to most other people’s. I drop it into conversation whenever there’s an obvious link, rather than sitting him down for a specific chat about it. And we discuss ways that this is a positive - e.g. he has always been very joyful and happy (mid range emotions like being grumpy aren’t really on his emotional register!), things that he’s good at etc - as well as identifying the things he finds more challenging because of his neurodiversity.

I've also found it helpful to draw his attention to the fact that he’s not the only person who has challenges - if we’ve seen a friend having a meltdown I will explain it to him that xxx finds ‘whatever the trigger was’ tricky just like you find xyz tricky - his mum is helping him just like I help you.

Personally I think it’s important that children can understand themselves better, and then at some point it will be appropriate to name this for them as autism (or whatever diagnosis they have).