Anyone’s child not show ASD signs until an older age?

[enemaofthestate]

So youngest DS is autistic and signs were always really obvious from toddlerhood. Official diagnosis was more a confirmation of what we already knew. He has a one-to-one at school and awaiting a place at special school. Pretty straightforward and I’ve always felt like I know exactly what I’m working with. He is 7 now and has had his diagnosis for a few years.

However, I’m beginning to wonder whether older DS age 11 is actually autistic as well. He is very different to younger DS and didn’t (as far as I can recall) show any signs or concerns as a toddler or young primary school age. They have emerged over time later and I feel things are beginning to really come to a head now and he is struggling.

However I’ve read in most or all autism cases signs are always there from a very young age.

Does anyone have any experience in things only becoming ‘obvious’ at a later age?

DS was diagnosed at 11, before that I had no idea as everything could be put down to his age. Somethings did make sense though, he was really into telephones at 2, he didn't like certain textures, was fussy with food. He was diagnosed with Aspergers though which is more likely what your older ds has (except they don't have that diagnoses any more and as a result seem to have raised the bar on what does and doesn't constitute ASD).

The diagnostic criteria states that symptoms must be present from a young age (before 3). So no, it's impossible to develop autism later, but there are a lot of other menthal disease unfortunatly.

Lots of people are diagnosed late.

Sometimes autistic presentations are masked by co-morbid conditions like ADHD, or anxiety, or by socialisation pressures to 'act normal' (which girls are particularly sensitive to).

Sometimes there is enough flexibility in environments that traits are coped with, until something, often secondary school and/or puberty, makes things much less tolerable.

It's also easy to overlook or misascribe things that in hindsight might have given you a clue (special interests anyone? Sensory sensitivities?). And health professionals persist with fairly stereotyped expectations of poor eye contact, lack of sociailability, lack of empathy, which don't describe many autsitic people.

Given it's a spectrum, and it's dimensional, no two people's autism looks the same. Which does complicate what you are looking to identify...

@Rorlaa I don't think that is correct 🤔

@enemaofthestate My 10yr old was diagnosed just last year. He didn't show any signs till he was 4/5yrs old (& even then not what I considered 'typical' ASD signs), and I actually grieved for the child that he used to be, but things definitely became worse with hormone changes which for him was around the 8/9yr mark.

Neurodiversity doesn't have to be 'just' ASD or ADHD, there are many other types out there too 🙃The most important thing is that you child is comfortable with themselves and that you are best informed/educated/understanding as to how to support them the best way possible

@Scorpiothistle C. Symptoms must be present in the early developmental period (but may not become fully manifest until social demands exceed limited capacities or may be masked by learned strategies in later life).

Hi All, just wanted to join in as I'm in total bits over my 4 year old. Nursery have flagged up issues in that it's taken her til now to make a friend, that she's always been just on the outside of the circle looking in. Will stand back and observe before joining in a group activity. Can be quiet and shy around adults. One thing we did agree on is that she talks in a different accent than we all do, no denying that. I do know that when she was younger I didn't want her having my broad accent so I over exaggerated all my words which I think maybe have caused part of this accent.
She loves nursery, happy to go, I do see her shy with the adults though! She's not like this at home, she's very comfortable with people she knows well. She has no sensory issues, no repetitive behaviour, very smart and generally very sociable. Will make friends at the park, will play at people's houses etc. She was the life and soul of a wedding recently, dancing with everybody, living her best life.
I don't know what to think now, I'm watching her like a hawk and beating myself up. I know ASD is different in girls so wondering should I be worried about this accent and the shyness for want of a better word at school.

@Buttercup1999 https://www.nhais.org/Intranet/hs/Child_Program_File_PY55/Section_6_Mental_Health/HS%20MH/6.1%20ASQ-SE%202%20Master%20Set-%20English.pdf

It's a screener focusing on social-communication milestones. Check the age appropriate, it may give you some idea.

Thank you @Rorlaa x

@Buttercup1999 Please don't worry too much. Children develop at different times and in different ways - we are all individual.
First of all, with regards to the accent, have you had her ears/hearing checked? Secondly, if it is only the nursery setting where this is an issue, then maybe it is the setting rather than the child?
Do you have anyone you can ask for advice just to settle your concerns? Health visitor perhaps?

Hi @Scorpiothistle thank you for your reply. I haven't had her hearing checked, never even thought about it, very good point.
You also make a very good point about the setting. She seems to literally seize when she sees a couple of the leaders from there, we were at a fundraising event for the nursery and as soon as one of them spoke to her she just froze, whilst before that she was talking away to her friend and his mum. She is leaving there now in a few days and moving on to primary school so I'm hoping the change will do her good.
Anyone I have asked in regards to family, think I'm mad, or rather the nursery is mad! She's been signed off from the HV now after her last check too. Any visit she had from HV before they adored her, she was full of smiles, chat and so interactive with them. Nothing was ever an issue. I just need to settle myself and calm down, no matter the outcome, me being in a state is helping noone.

Again thanks for your reply @Scorpiothistle I really appreciate it and I'll definitely get her hearing checked.